If you love Pole, you want the Elite Membership!
I hear it all the time. “I’d love to be an Elite member at Aerial Dance but I just don’t have the time to come enough.” Rubbish! The Elite Membership is priced for you to come once per week and attend two classes, your pole and something else, when you come. That’s it. If you are already attending once a week and can come an hour early or stay an hour after, you will be fully paying for your Elite Membership with just that usage. Do what you’re already doing and stay one extra hour on that trip and you’ll get the financial benefit of the Elite Membership. Anything else you use on the membership after that point would be gravy! You can use your free studio rental every month or attending classes another day that month. The Elite Membership allows you to attend a lot of classes but only pay for the membership you need to attend your Pole class and one other class weekly. That’s it. If you’re already here for your Pole hour, why not take a flexibility class after or a workout class before? The Elite Membership also give you access to Static Pole classes. Our regular sequential pole program teaches spin pole so this is a whole other side of pole that you get unlimited access to as an Elite Member. Give it a try! In addition to unlimited access to static classes, you also get unlimited Spin Pole classes as an Elite Member. Yes! You can take your normal pole class every week and take another of the same level or down a level to keep working on those skills. If you love pole and want to take more Pole, you can do that as an Elite Member. Some Elite Members just use their membership for Pole! That’s ok if that is what excites you! Most Elite Members also take Aerial classes to help cross train for Pole. We have three aerial apparatus to play on: Hammock, Hoop and Silks. If you love pole, cross training will help you get stronger faster. It also reduces your chance of injury by working on skills in a different way. Becoming Elite gives you the option to cross train on other apparatus to improve your pole skills! Flexibility and strength also aid your Pole Journey. With an Elite Membership you can take unlimited fitness, dance and flexibility classes. Work on your cardio for climbing the pole in Dance Cardio or get more comfortable moving around the pole with Floor Flow. Get closer to grabbing your foot in a Figure Skater with Bendy Babe, or simply get stronger, faster with Pole Strong. All the supplemental classes Aerial Dance offers are specifically geared towards helping you get better at Pole. We started as a Pole studio. We LOVE Pole. Everything at Aerial Dance is designed to help you with Pole. The Elite Membership gives you that opportunity to get the full benefits of these classes at a steeply discount price. Plus, there is no hassle of paying attention to how often or what you attend since everything included is unlimited! If you love Pole, become an Elite Member at Aerial Dance. Upgrade to Elite today for unlimited access to all things and to support your love of pole!
Eat Your Vegetables
It’s summer. Which means attendance at the studio is all over the place. Some weeks you attend three times, the next week not at all because sunburn and pole suck. Then when fall comes all this sporadic attendance results in plateaus of frustration. How to beat that? When you come to class in summer, do the basics. What does that look like: Intermediate Pole class attendee, remember to do all the spins from Beginner Pole EVERY time you attend. Advanced 1 Pole class attendee, in addition to all your Beginner Spins (because remember pole builds on the foundation) remember to do all your CLIMBS every time you attend. Yes, all of them. Up and down. And both sides Advanced 2 Pole & Extreme class attendee, in addition to all your climbs, make sure to do your basic inverts that cleared your to get to Advanced 1 on both sides. The stronger you keep your pole basics, the faster you will progress in pole. Set the goal of once a month to come to a practice to review your cards. Nothing new, nothing you’re currently working on; just review what you needed to move up a level. Make sure all those skills are still in your body. If you make this a practice once a month you’ll be shocked at how fast you progress.
Levels Aren’t Ability
In my blog “be like Mario” I commented how you always had to go back to Level 1 in Mario to eventually save the princess. The game didn’t allow you to start where you left off because it wanted you to hone your muscle memory in the lower levels over and over. All that is true, but it needs to be said that levels have nothing to do with your ability and worth as a poler. Watching Heidi Coker do a Fireman Climb and a Beginner Poler do the same move doesn’t make the move different, it is still a Fireman Climb. What is different between the two is the ease at which they executed the move because of the number of times they have done that move. So often our students stay in the top level they got to, even when life has happened and that level is now a struggle. POLE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. If the main F word you feel in class is frustration over fun, go back down a level for a few weeks. Taking an Advanced 1 class when you’re “Extreme” doesn’t mean you aren’t “Extreme”. We don’t go into the system and take away the highest level you achieved! You are still an “Extreme” student who now is smart enough to take Advanced 1 to help her progress. The level you are cleared for does not mean your pole ability. The level you are cleared for is just the skills you are ready to work on. That doesn’t mean all the skills before it you can forget, if anything those skills are now more important than ever. The level you are enrolled in is NOT your self worth or ability as a poler. Level is just what you’re focusing on in that class. Sometimes what is the focus of a class level isn’t what you personally need that day because life happened and that day you need a review of something that is a skill you forgot. Be the smart poler and go to where your needs that day are requesting rather than where your ego wants you to be. Your ego isn’t your pole friend; but fun is. It’s way more healthy for you and you’ll stay with the sport a lot longer if the main F word you feel at the studio is FUN.
Be Like Mario
It’s a pretty exciting day when you get the email saying “you’ve been cleared for advanced 1 pole”! You’ve worked hard, coming twice a week to class and practice and you’re so excited to start inverting! Fast forward a few months (or years) and life got in the way and you haven’t been at class as consistently. You’ve plateaued. You leave class frustrated because you can’t do things you used to do. And the result is Advanced 1 Pole is now not fun. So you have three choices: quit the sport you loved keep doing Advanced 1 classes and struggle move down to Intermediate Pole for a few weeks 90% of our women do number 1 or 2 because their ego makes number 3 hard. But here’s the deal, Levels in Pole are like Levels in Mario. When you died in the video game you didn’t start where you left off, you went back to the beginning each time so that it got to the point where you could play level 1 with your eyes closed because your controller muscle memory was so strong. Before you ever got to save the princess you had played the early levels a trillion times. You honed your skills in the lower levels OVER and OVER. Why don’t you do the same with pole? Ego. That is the reason. Because once you’re any level of poler that is the level you are in your head and you think taking any lower level is going backward. IT IS NOT. Taking a “lower level” is actually the quickest way to improve because you hone your skills and make your muscle memory stronger. Levels at Aerial Dance denote the skills being taught in that level. Nothing more. It doesn’t assign your pole competence or ability. A fireman climb done by someone the first time or a Pole Star is still a fireman climb and Intermediate Pole move. The difference is that the Pole Star has done it a trillion times so her muscle memory is stronger. The more times you do that skill, the stronger your muscle memory will be at it. Therefore, being an “advanced 1” poler and taking “intermediate pole” is actually honing your skills to rescue the princess! So rescue your damn self and remember that “level” is what is being covered and you want to work on ALL your pole skills to continue on your journey.
Applying Book Club
The Aerial Dance Book Club “Smart Is Sexy” reads books with a focus on self growth. Topics have been from body image to dollars and every other area of life. But does reading these books actually change you? YES. On this Valentine’s Day, let me tell you a little story about relationships. My entire life, dating has felt like this crazy rollercoaster. Where I feel happy one moment and wonder why he isn’t calling the next. To me, love was the highs and the lows made the highs mean more. In my last long term relationship I remember being so miserable so many time in lows but worse, there were so many times that I would step outside my body and see my actions or comments or reactions and think “who the hell is she!?!?!” Relationships made me feel like I lost control of my sense of self and I hated it. I went on a quest to learn why. I’m a smart woman. I am a confident woman. I know what I have to offer and I know what I am looking for. So why do I constantly find myself worrying if some dude who I don’t even really like is going to call me?!?!?! And worse, why when I do like him, does he make me literally crazy?!?!?! Enter book club book “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love” by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller. I read this book the first time and thought my last relationship couldn’t have been described better as the “anxious – avoidant” trap. Every scenario they described from this unhealthy combination I had lived, down to how he always walked a few steps in front of me! I was gobsmacked. Suddenly, I wasn’t crazy and incapable of being in a relationship, I had an anxious attachment style that when activated was super unhelpful. Turns out avoidant men were ALL I had ever dated. Avoidant men was all I knew and they were a drug to me with so many highs and lows and like a drug, totally destructive. After rereading the book, I did a deep dive into what my triggers were, my most common protest behaviors and warning signs that I was meeting someone avoidant. So I went back to the dating world after book club and said if I see any of the avoidant qualities, I’m out. Every time I came across one I firmly reminded myself I’m clean these days and don’t need that beautiful drug ride again. So step one was awesome. No more rollercoaster. But since I’m 40 (how did that happen!!???!) most of the men in the pool left to me to meet are avoidant or anxious because the magical unicorn secure people are in a freaking relationship. Then I meet new guy. Recently divorced (so capable of commiting and being in a long term relationship, aka likely not avoidant!) First time we went out he was nice but I didn’t feel the crazy pull of “oh my god, I am getting high from my favorite drug”. After second date, again, I had a great time, loved the adventure we went on together, laughed a ton, but I called my friend (also in book club) and said, I don’t know if I should go out with him again. “We have amazing conversation and so much fun together, but I just don’t feel the butterflies or spark.” She was all “Paula, you are having a great time and yet you wonder if you should see him again!?!?!? Please go back and read what happens to an anxious person when they meet a secure.” So I did. (Thanks Amber!) And every damn thing the damn book said about this new combination was what I was feeling. He is secure, I am anxious, and that makes the entire connection between us feel different, I’m not triggered and riding a high. So more dates ensued. And now I’m in a relationship for the first time in my life with someone secure. And it is TOTALLY different. I don’t feel crazy. I am actually my full self. When I do have anxious moments they last a short amount of time because he doesn’t throw gasoline on it. He read the book too, at my request (oh be still my heart, a man who reads!), and actively makes choices to not trigger my anxious attachment. Something simple, like making sure I always know when our next date will be before concluding our current date makes such an amazing difference to my sanity. It’s new, so a lot can still happen or not match between us but I’m beyond grateful I met him because he is proof that secure magical unicorns do exist and sometimes show up in the dating pool. For the first time in my life a relationship isn’t triggering me and it is a whole new level of awesome. Reading the book brought me this: I learned about the different attachment styles, figured out mine, changed how I was trying to date, and it has truly changed my life. So read the book! Learn about yourself and then apply what you learn to find a new level of happy.
12th Show Closing Thoughts
Over the past weekend the women of Aerial Dance took the stage for our 12th Annual Show. With 111 performers and an audience of ~500 this was our largest event to date. And many people have said it was our best. I won’t argue that subjective thought but I will confirm that the show was truly outstanding. When show planning started for this year there were SO MANY unknowns with Covid and what we should or shouldn’t be doing. We decided to Ostrich it (put our heads in the sand) and just do the event we wanted. Which meant DOUBLES!!!! We wanted to return to the high energy and sisterhood uniting event of the past were we had 6 women on stage in one routine. We wanted to return to the epic show opening and closing group numbers by having way too many instructors on stage doing crazy things. We wanted to return to the BIG audience screaming and the one big show time. What I’m most proud of is that even after the time off and the weirdness, we did it. We put on a “normal” event. And it was AMAZING. “Normal”. Ha. Nothing about the Aerial Dance Annual Show is “normal” by industry standards. Most studios do their events at their studios or at a venue that already has rigging because it is so much easier. Not Aerial Dance. We move our entire studio and create a brand new aerial space off site in the process. This takes an INSANE amount of planning and coordination, as well as work, by a ton of people. Here are some of the companies that make our show possible: Tanners is our event venue. Their staff do an amazing job opening early so we can set up and taking care of our people the entire weekend! Wisconsin Concert Staging literally sets up our stage. What once was volleyball courts is now a performing stage! The also allow us to drill holes into their beautiful stage so our pole safely mount. JEM Productions does the rigging, video, sound, and lights and they were really incredible this year; Tabor and Caleb worked our event weekend and they were so kind and attentive. Most production companies turned me down when I asked them to rig our show because of the liability, so we are beyond grateful that JEM is willing to work with us and then does a truly artistic job on top of it! Three photography companies worked together to shoot our event: Debbie Daanen Photography, Giving Works Photography and Taylor Daniele Photography. Simple Simon Bakery sets out a delicious table of desserts for snacks during the show. Stella Graphic Design created our show poster, tickets and programs. Harrison Printing & Promotion prints our show tickets and programs. Health Matters Muscular Therapy is our event sponsor. Additional businesses that sponsor the show include: Nakashimas, TC Dance, Brennan Hussey PT, LUV, Coldwell Banker Real Estate Group with Gary Schumacher, Debbie Daanen Photography, Upcycled, The Ashwaubenon Bowling Alley, and Photography by Brittyni. For those counting, that is 18 small businesses that worked on our show!!!!! The show does more than give our women an amazing opportunity, it also supports other small businesses in our area! I am so grateful for all the companies that work with Aerial Dance to create this production. I am also insanely grateful for my instructor team for putting in the long hours year after year to make this happen annually. We literally bring a foam floor from the studio to put on our stage, that is the level of attention to detail that we executed to make this event next epic. My staff show up early to help set things up, they tear down at the end, they do all the set changes during the show, they perform in the show and the do all the choreography for the routines. This is a HUGE undertaking and it wouldn’t be possible without the dedication of the Aerial Dance Instructors. As we prepared for this year it felt a lot more like the first show to me; I had a lot more anxiety then in recent years not knowing how things would work out after the year “off”. (Ok, it wasn’t off, but we did something different in 2020 so it didn’t feel like this monster event!) The end result, I couldn’t be prouder. What we created this past weekend defies good adjectives because it surpassed them. The women of Aerial Dance are simply mind-blowing.
Holiday Real Talk
Now that the ghosts of Halloween have past and we’re thinking about over eating pie, it’s just a matter of time before we start to think GIFTS. If you’re like me, you put a lot of thought into the people you care about when purchasing holiday gifts. This year, I challenge you to also think about the local businesses you want around when making your holiday purchases. We need you. Business Owner Paula here with a message that is uncomfortable as hell to share. I’ll be frank, we are still “recovering” from 2020. All small business are. “Covid” was a much more devastating hit than anyone who doesn’t see the books of a small business can understand and worse, it is still having trickle over effects making the “recovery” much slower than it looks on the outside. Small business are surviving, but it is a constant effort and scary “challenge”. Why share this? Because YOUR dollars make a difference. How you choose to spend every dollar of your holiday shopping budget matters. If you buy mom a $25 nick nack that will make her smile and she’ll put on a shelf with the other 6 you got her in years past, great; but if you buy her a $25 aerial yoga class to take WITH you then you’re also helping Aerial Dance, making her smile AND creating an awesome memory together when you attend! With our range of classes and options, surely some of your holiday spending can be done in our doors. Ugh. I hate saying this. I truly hate writing this. But EVERY SMALL BUSINESS OWNER IS THINKING THIS. We are all praying that the consumer will be conscious of us this holiday season. For me personally, I will be buying gift cards to the local restaurants I love for people this year because I want to support them. I will be buying experiences at local places because I want to support them. For family out of the area I am asking them what business I SHOULD be supporting in their community before making my purchases. This is a deliberate and conscious spending of my holiday dollars at local small businesses where people I care about live. If Aerial Dance is one of those businesses you want to support with your holiday dollars, here are some ways to do so: Booking a party with your friends instead of buying them gifts Taking a one time class with a family member (don’t forget we have co-ed classes too). Buy a single class gift card for a co-worker. Buy a workshop gift card for a friend. Buy a 5-pack for a sister, mom or friend to attend a few classes with you. What doesn’t help Aerial Dance is when someone you love buys you a gift card for your membership costs; instead used that gift card to take a workshop or a private lesson or something you wouldn’t normally do! The accounting is simple, we’ve already budgeted for your membership payment so if someone else pays it, that helps you but not the company. If you instead spend that gift another way at the company that isn’t already budgeted it DOES VERY MUCH help the studio. Any time you spend money with us that isn’t part of your normal membership or buying habits it is super helpful to Aerial Dance. As holiday spending approaches, every dollar you spend for someone else at the studio will help Aerial Dance. As you are thinking of holiday money spending, consider what small businesses you want to support. We need you!
“Self-Care” is the wrong term
The “self-care” industry is now billions of dollars. It covers everything you can imagine that in any way involves (or could involve) taking care of yourself from bubble baths to therapy appointments to eating healthy to well, pretty much everything under the sun can be sold as “self-care”. There are two basic forms of “self-care” in the industry: Do what you need to feel better NOW. This includes drinking the wine and have the bubble bath. Do what you need to do to create a better future. This is the therapy and the exercise. It’s awesome when something you’re doing overlaps bother categories as often times the “now” activities seems to set you back from the “better future” idea. And it is this WIDE range of what “self-care” is that sets up the detractors arguments that “self-care” is “selfish”. I hate the word “self-care.” My dislike stems from it being too close to selfish and self-love and that it just seems broad and weak. Like the variation we see in “now” versus “future” the actual word used for this movement is ambiguous. The dictionary defines “care” as: the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something. serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly to avoid damage or risk When I read the definition it is about protection and avoiding risk. Care doesn’t inspire me. It is the most basic level with no outcome other than survival. Don’t you want to do MORE than survive? I do! I want my self-practice to help me cultivate a life that I choose. I want my self-practice to allow me more than existence. Therefore, I need to upgrade “self-care” to “self-sustainability”. The dictionary defines “sustainability” as: the ability to be maintained at a certain rate or level. Doesn’t that sound better? That we aren’t just doing what’s necessary to avoid damage but instead are actually choosing the level we WANT to maintain for our lives? To me “self-sustainability” is a much stronger word choice and guider for how we take care of ourselves. We need to set a bar above avoiding damage and we need to start using a word choice that reflects our ability of select the “level” we wish to maintain in our lives.
A “bad” rehearsal means jack
The annual show is 24 days away. In my last blog I shared how much I didn’t think I should be doing the show this year and how happy I am that I now will be in the show. But how I actually feel about performing in the show oscillates greatly based on how the last rehearsal went… When Kelly & I have a “bad” rehearsal I freak the F out. I have a full on panic attack; I hear all the voices in my head saying I am too fat and weak to be on stage and I believe they are right and I’m just kidding myself. And WORSE, I’m pulling Kelly, who is a dear friend and one of my favorite humans on the planet, down with me. When we have a “bad” rehearsal, usually it means that one trick didn’t go well. ONE TRICK is what causes me to have a total meltdown. No joke. Kelly can verify that I was close to tears when I could not get our toboggan flip up one day, which is one of our signature moves that we have done hundreds of time successfully. Couldn’t get it at a rehearsal and Paula meltdown. Kelly said all the nice things and sent my basket case butt home. Then the next rehearsal we got everything and it went well and I felt over the moon excited. Beyond grateful that I get to be in the show and have something to work towards. Grateful that my body is doing the things even though my mind is sure trying to derail it. Grateful that I’m having so much fun “working out” with my friend. And that right there is the show cycle. I go between feeling like a fraud and wanting to run away and quit to feeling proud and excited and like a badass. Back and forth. Back and forth. So here’s what I’ve been coming to realize. When we have a “bad” rehearsal and I proceed to meltdown and question everything about my abilities, each time I stay there less long because there is more proof in the rehearsal period that I CAN do the things. I’ve also come to realize that even if we miss a trick in the show or (heaven forbid) don’t have a great day on show day, my body is stronger because I went through this rehearsal process. I AM in better shape now than I was 6 months ago. My most recent surgery shoulder is doing WAY more NOW than it was three months ago. That no matter how the performance goes, being in the show isn’t actually about the end performance; it is about the journey to get to that performance. Being in the show is making me a better person because I have to do all the things to get to that performance. I HAVE to show up. The performance is the icing; the journey to it is what has improved who I am and is the true value.
Motivation doesn’t start the process, showing up does
Raw and real, that’s my role in this company…right? Here goes some vulnerability for all of you about the show and doing a routine. Disclaimer: this is about the battle in my head, I am aware the mean voice in my head isn’t reality and you don’t need to comment about the negative stuff I say in this blog to build me up….I am constantly working on getting the voice in my head to be kinder and know she needs to be…so I share this with all of you incase you have some of the same thoughts/feelings. As we talked about the 2021 show, I had decided I wasn’t going to be in it. I’d run it. I’d MC it. But I wouldn’t perform. After all, I have nothing to bring to the stage. After my failed shoulder surgery, I haven’t been doing a lot of tricks. I feel horrible in my own skin. When I look at pictures of myself I don’t know the fat woman looking back at me. So I had decided I’d be the person running the show but I wouldn’t be on stage. I had nothing to offer that was worth putting on stage. I didn’t want to be on stage. The voice in my head is hella-mean and I was listening to her. The past two shows Instructor Kelly and I did doubles hoop. I told her I wasn’t good enough or healthy enough to do the show with her this year. That was 8 months out. Her comment was “tough, we’re doing it. We have time. We’ll work on it.” Then she said a whole bunch of stuff I didn’t hear about how I’m not fat and I’m not broken and I can do cool stuff. I hate when my staff parrots back to me the same stuff I say to them….lol. The show date was approaching. We knew our song. Kelly and I sat down with our calendars and scheduled a whole bunch of rehearsals for us. We put them on the calendar in June for July until the show date. In INK so they couldn’t be moved. And we started showing up for them. I didn’t want to show up. I didn’t want to do the show. I had ZERO motivation. ZERO. I tried to quit after the first rehearsal. And the second. But Kelly wouldn’t let me and I kept showing up for her. And you know what happened. I got better. I got strong. I got more confident. My shoulder started to suck a little less. The pain got a little better. Little by little the reality of what I was doing overcame what I thought. Little by little the reality of what I was doing overcame the limitations the hella-mean voice had put in my head. Those weren’t real and my actions were proving it. And now, two months before the show, two months AFTER we started rehearsing, I HAVE MOTIVATION! I now WANT to be in the show. I now WANT to be on stage. I now WANT to go to rehearsal. Kelly and I are having so much fun we’re sneaking in extra rehearsals. That is reality. If you wait for motivation you will never do anything. But if you keep showing up, the motivation and JOY will come. I can’t wait to show you all what we’ve created for November 13th!
