Anxious Thoughts and Brave Actions
“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” — Mary Tyler Moore I remember hovering over the “complete order” button for a minute or two on December 31st, 2018, as my monkey mind tried it’s best to talk me out of committing to purchasing my very first “Intro to Pole” class. It was intimidating for me to make that choice and say hey, you know what? I might really enjoy pole fitness and aerial dancing. Negative self-talk and mindsets can be subtle and sneaky, subconsciously leading to sabotage. Here are the top 5 anxious thoughts that rolled through my mind and my interpretation of them: I wouldn’t fit in. Turns out, that was total malarkey. I didn’t just feel like I fit in, I felt like I was a part of something. I felt connected. From what I’ve experienced Aerial Dance truly is a sisterhood. The moment you walk into an Aerial Dance studio you are welcomed like a longtime friend by an instructor. This vibe continues to spread throughout to the students. I don’t know what kind of majestic unicorn force is at work here, but everyone I’ve encountered has been very kind and accepting. I wouldn’t stick with it. This anxious thought is based on years of trying out new fitness things and either not enjoying them or wanting/needing to stop because it was too painful. I have some injuries that have changed my body over time and have struggled with chronic pain for about 10 years. I went from being active and healthy to coming to an almost treacherous halt. I gained 80 pounds, had no energy, difficulty focusing, loss of interest in things I once loved, and I just hurt all over. I started to resent my body and wanted to give up. It’s hard to stay motivated and love your body when you feel like it’s somehow working against you and you can’t control it. I had often heard from people that actually liked working out that I just had to find the right fit, find something I loved. It was hard to imagine loving any kind of workout when the pain of just having a body was sometimes unbearable. hat first intro class was about 2 weeks after my second laparoscopic abdominal surgery to treat endometriosis and ovarian cysts which kind of blows my mind to reflect on. Today I am feeling better mentally and physically than I thought would be possible to achieve again. Pole fitness certainly puts your body to the test but for me it doesn’t irritate any of my old injuries and I can tell in many ways that it’s having a positive impact on my health. Just like with any workout, there is discomfort, but it’s not the kind of pain I had been experiencing. To my surprise and delight, soon enough it wasn’t enough to just show up to class. Now, I actually WANT to do conditioning and stretching at home so when I’m at the studio I can kick some serious ass and learn even more fun, awesome things! I wouldn’t be good at it. Well, here we have an anxious thought that might be at least a little bit true. I wasn’t very good at it, and depending on what the comparison is, I’m still not terribly good at it! But I’m better than when I started. Shoshin is a word from Zen Buddhism that means “beginner’s mind.” Having a beginner’s mind means to have an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level. A beginners mind is sure of nothing, yet fearless. I’ve learned to embrace this and see the power of staying in this mindset; to have the courage to not be good at things while maintaining a strong commitment and passion. Impatience and fear of failure have always been my greatest impediment to success. Detaching from expectations and outcomes and simply staying present in the “right here, right now” has allowed me to go ahead and suck at it and do it with joy and vigor anyway. I didn’t have the right body for it. I’m 5’8” and 175 pounds..give or take 10 pounds depending on the phase of the moon, direction of the wind, or any number of mysterious variables. In my mind a pole dancer was long, lean, and petite yet curvy in all the proper places. All of these preprogrammed societal standards of what a beautiful woman should look like. But really, there isn’t a formula for beauty. There is no right or wrong body, period. In every class I’ve attended I’ve been among so many body types and shapes. Witnessing these women push through their own barriers and enjoy themselves and the process with a gentle yet deeply ferocious intent has helped to tear out those preconceived standards from the root and plant my own notions of what I find to feel right about MY body, for myself. This one changed perspective has opened up a level of love and acceptance for myself that I haven’t experienced since I was a child. I wasn’t strong enough. Technically, that one was also kind of true. That very first class I realized yep, I had very little upper body strength! However I quickly discovered that it didn’t matter because I was enjoying myself too much to care. When I go to the studio now I experience strength in a different way. I appreciate the strength it takes some days to simply make it to class. The strength in being comfortable in my own skin. The strength in continuously mustering up the courage to face these anxious thoughts. Pole fitness has turned into more than just a work out for me. I’m not just practicing the movements, I’m practicing showing up for myself, staying grounded in my body when that monkey mind wants to distract me. I’m practicing enjoying what my body
Change your mind, Change your body
Walking through the studio last week I heard two comments. “Chrissy is so strong” and (insert whiny voice here) “I hate this move” in relation to some type of conditioning exercise. And the disconnect between these two statements gave me pause. Chrissy is strong BECAUSE she does conditioning. Chrissy does more conditioning than she does pole tricks. No joke. So does pole goddess Elizabeth Blanchard. The truly strong great polers don’t spend all their time doing tricks, they spend their time using the apparatus to conditioning and then the tricks come. The whole point of conditioning is to help you get the tricks. So why the “I hate this move”? Do they really? No, it is ATTITUDE. 100% And I know, because I was that person and struggle HARD to not continue to be her. I used to look at conditioning as this dreaded thing I had to do in order to get to the fun part. Conditioning was the veggies I knew I should eat so I felt like I could have dessert. But conditioning doesn’t have to be that. You can decide to have an empowered relationship with conditioning. I did. And every morning when I go to the studio I check in with that empowered relationship because it is still forming. Some days it’s easy and other days I have to reframe “I hate this move” into “What am I gaining from this move”. What does an empowered relationship with conditioning look like? Make the connection between the conditioning exercise and the skill you want to achieve. Recognize that the exercise is preparing your body. Ask your muscles how the exercise is helping you get closer. Pay attention to how your body feels in the exercise and then how the move seems to flow as an extension. For me a BIG part of my relationship with conditioning is recognizing that it is providing my body with HEALTH. I think about how each rep is making me a little stronger. I think about how it is helping me prevent a future injury by training smart. I focus on all that I’m gaining and not that I have to do this boring exercise when I’d rather do the cool trick. Because the conditioning IS the step stone to the trick. By celebrating that stepping stone I am more able to cross the river to reach the trick. And if you every what Chrissy’s training videos, she makes conditioning FUN. Your instructors make conditioning fun, they turn it into games and challenges, you can do that too. Here’s the painful truth: If you have hit a plateau on your pole/aerial journey, check in with your conditioning. Are you doing it? Are you giving it 100%. I bet you that the answer is no. Most of our students (and I used to be here too) phone in conditioning. They half ass it. They do it but they don’t do it fully and with passion. If you want to bust off the plateau, reframe your attitude about conditioning to be one of joy AND do it with everything you’ve got. After the 15 minute warm-up and conditioning you should almost be too tired for class! Negativity is contagious. The second someone says “I hate this move” or “I hate conditioning” or “can’t we skip conditioning” the entire room just caught your bug. I challenge you to help your studio sisters reframe their relationship to conditioning by showing them your empowered one. What phrases can you adopt in class and your training to help you celebrate the benefits of conditioning and pursue it with passion?
Quiet Beauty and Abundant Grace!
Introducing Instructor Amber This past week I had the wonderful opportunity to interview one of our new instructors, Instructor Amber! It was great to sit down and get to know her a little bit better. At the beginning of her aerial journey, I had the privilege to meet her as student and see her grow. Now it is my great pleasure to share with you a glimpse into the life Instructor Amber. She is a strong, beautiful, kind hearted woman who goes above and beyond! Growing Up Amber was born in Appleton and grew up in Hortonville. This came as complete shock as I too grew up in Hortonville. Hortonville is a very small town, so I was baffled that I did not know/remember Instructor Amber. While in high school Instructor Amber was in dance. Growing up she also was on a competitive water ski show team for several years! One of her favorite stunts was the barefoot pyramids and climbing up 4 tiers! It really got her adrenaline pumping! Above all the amazing tricks Instructor Amber loved the wonderful community and the sportsmanship! As Instructor Amber graduated from high school, she found herself thinking, “I don’t want to stay in Hortonville. I want to move to different country and travel the world. Have all the adventures!” Throughout her college years and even into adulthood she never felt home sick. She has lived in Appleton for many years and the hustle and bustle is constant. As she gotten a little bit older, she has come to realize that maybe quiet little Hortonville is not so bad after all. She still isn’t sure where her path will lead her as she and her husband Zak are currently home hunting. College Years After graduating from high school, Amber began her college journey at the University of Wisconsin Superior to study marine biology. She was the first child on her mother’s side of the family to attend a four year college. Instructor Amber thoroughly enjoyed her time at UW Superior even though her time there was cut short. From there she took a year off of school. She went to school just because she wanted to, but not truly knowing what she wanted to do with her life. Instructor Amber contemplated a photo journalism career and applied to school in California. She was accepted into the program, but life through her another curve ball, and it proved not to be her path in life. In between going back to school, she worked a few odd jobs. Her favorite job was working at Barnes and Noble in the cafe. While working in the cafe she bonded with her manager Mary, who helped grow in ways she didn’t expect. Instructor Amber also worked with our new Instructor Alyssa at the cafe, which would eventually lead her on journey she won’t soon forget! While working two jobs, Instructor Amber began to take classes at UW Fox Valley for environmental and political sciences. On whim she decided to take a psychology class. She soon fell in love with psychology. After two years at UW Fox Valley, she transferred to UW Green Bay where she graduated with a degree in psychology and human development. Life After College Instructor Amber began her next adventure working in a hospital. She worked fixing and managing hospital equipment. She was also in charge delivering machines to patients rooms. This position was extremely lonely. Her office was in the basement and her interaction with people was very minimal. She felt lack luster all the time. That was her wake up call. She then began researching what she actually wanted to do. Instructor Amber had always wanted to be a veterinarian, but it was too expensive and she did not have the time or money to go back to school. Then she began to research veterinarian technicians and how to become certified. Instructor Amber found that in Wisconsin you can do on the job training with studying on your own. After completing two years of on the job training, your employer can then sign an affidavit stating you have put in your training time and that they are competent. Once the affidavit is signed you may take the State and National Board Exams. To be a licensed CVT you must have continuing education to maintain that license. Instructor Amber began applying to various vet practices and received a few call backs. She accepted a position at Appanasha as a vet tech assistant. Instructor Amber studied and fought hard to become CVT. During her two years of on the job training she ate, slept, and breathed studying/training. When she was finally ready to take the State and National Board Exams her employer signed her affidavit and she buckled down even harder. Thankfully all of her hard work paid off and she passed. She has now been with Appanasha for seven years.When asked about her job description she will tell that she wears many hats, but fully loves her job. Round About Way to Aerial Dance Instructor Amber found Aerial Dance through Instructor Alyssa while working together at Barnes and Noble in the cafe. She had seen post on Instructor Alyssa’s social media page about three years after they both had left Barnes and Noble. Instructor Amber posted on one of Alyssa’s pictures that Instructor Alyssa was amazing and she really wanted to give aerial a try. Instructor Alyssa replied well why don’t you? Like many of us Instructor Amber really wanted to try the aerial arts, but found it was difficult to find/make time for them. A few years later Instructor Amber made a very similar comment that she should try it. Well, Instructor Alyssa went back to her picture from some time prior when Instructor Amber first mentioned she should try aerial, took screen shot, and sent it to Instructor Amber. Instructor Amber was caught. She knew she needed to set her hesitations aside and give it a try. After talking with her
Helping out after the storms
This past weekend NE Wisconsin had a whole bunch of tornados, rain and high winds. How did we at Aerial Dance cope? Our Green Bay instructors Kelly & Lynn brought their classes in to our windowless staff room and had them do push-ups with crash mats on them during the tornado sirens! Awesome job by the Aerial Dance team keeping everyone safe, taking their minds off the danger AND still getting the workout in!!!! On Saturday we were supposed to perform at Pride Alive 2019. The event was cancelled due to the severe storms which breaks our hearts. The volunteers work SO HARD to put on an event like that on so to have the entire thing cancelled is a huge disappointment and danger to future events due to budgets and all those annoying but important details. If you’re able to help this organization reschedule, please donate. I’m grateful to the organizers for cancelling early enough to keep my people safe and not have them enroute during the worst of the storms. Thank you!!!! It’s now Monday and many people in our community still don’t have power. For some, this also means no showers or running water. Aerial Dance would like to make a blanket statement that for as long as this disaster is under recovery our facilities are open during our classes to any woman over the age of 18 who needs to charge something or use our shower. Both our locations have showers with hot water, shampoo, conditioners and we provide towels. We’re happy to share this with any in need. Check out schedule and show up during any class times. You don’t need to be a member to stop in and get help. We also have extra surge protectors at BOTH location main desks. If you need to charge something, come on in and plug it in. You can wait in the lobby while it charges. You don’t need to be a member to stop in and get help. Since we are a sanctuary for women, we need to limit those coming to females 18 and older during our regular class hours. But if you are in need of a shower or charging, outside of our class times we’ll try to arrange a time for mother’s with kids or families to stop in; arrange this by calling 920-750-1441. We hope you and your family are safe. And wish you a speedy clean-up. A BIG THANK YOU to all our emergency personnel in the community and those restoring electricity. We appreciate the long hours you’re putting in!
Pedantic Progression
Pole is so exciting. You see this amazing move on Instagram and you just can’t wait to try it! The problem is that in order to do pole safely you need to have a progression that gets you ready for whatever the move-du-jour is. And that is where your instructor comes in! At Aerial Dance we have an invert order that we teach all our women. Why? Because it will mean you get the moves and are SAFE. We can take for granted how dangerous pole is. We can forget. There are examples in the pole community where girls fell out a hooked layback and a bat, both 6 inch or less “falls”, and the girls were seriously injured. At Aerial Dance we combat the possibility of this with progression, pedantic progression. Why do we have you do everything three times a side on three different days before you’re cleared? So your body has the opportunity to gain some muscle memory, absolutely! But it is also so you are trying the new move on days that have different body chemistry, pole stick, humidity and headspace because all of these things do change and make a move feel different. We want to know with confidence that you can execute the move under different circumstances before we tell you to go forth and do it alone! Our progression takes into account how the body will need to recover from advanced moves in the future. There are a few inverts that we don’t rush clearing you on because those are the tricks that will eventually be your “safe moves” when something goes crazy you’re trying to recover and not fall. Right now an outside leg hang may be the cool new thing you’re rushing to get cleared on but in the future it may be that leg hook that literally saves your neck. So trust your instructors. We want nothing more than to share your joy when you get a new move, but we want to also make sure that when you practice without us standing next to you we are confident you’ll execute safely. Yes, it’s cool to do new tricks. But know what’s cooler? Not getting hurt AND getting to do new tricks!
Training Weekends
It’s so exciting that we get to have guest instructors that come in to train us. The weekend training intensives are fabulous, but extremely exhausting. We start on Friday, generally around 4:30 and learn until 8:30 or so. Saturday morning, someone still teaches regularly scheduled classes, and then training resumes at 11:30 or so, and continues until about 6pm. If we are lucky, there aren’t any parties to do afterwards. Sunday, we wake up and do it all again! Starting somewhere between 8:30 and 10 usually, and learning until 2 or 3pm when someone has to teach our normally scheduled classes. During training times, I always make sure to have my notebook. I am very much a visual learner, so I need to see things multiple times and then do them. After I try them in my own body, I need to write down my own directions how to repeat the pose and in order to be able to understand it later. We take in so much information with each guest instructor that it’s hard to remember it all, and even more so how to properly execute the moves we’ve learned after the trainer has left. My notebook and its contents have become especially important for me to be able to review the moves I’ve learned and be able to recreate them weeks later. Throughout the weekend it is extremely important to take care of our bodies well. We all try to bring snacks to contribute to keep us going and fuel our bodies. Not only is food important, but also using our rest time to actually rest and get recovery time in. On Saturday night of trainings I like to take an Epsom salt bath to relax my muscles and start to review the moves we’ve learned. I’ve found that visualizing the moves is helpful for me in remembering things going forward from the training. In general these weekends are long, and exhausting but so worth everything we take away from them.
Becoming an Instructor
About a year into my journey as a student, founder Paula asked to meet with me to talk about becoming an instructor. I had so many questions, and she was welcome to open conversation and honestly answered them all. A few weeks later, I started my training to become an instructor. When I received my first packets of information, I was so excited! As I started working with Paula, I soon found that there was so much more to the pole classes I had loved so much as a student. Learning how to teach women about the safety aspect, but also making it fun and exciting was a lot more difficult than I had thought. When Instructor Chrissy was hired, I was so excited to have someone else to train with and go through all of the new information and trial-and-error of becoming an instructor together. Relearning everything from an instructor’s point of view was hard. Starting over at beginner and going through every move, how to break it down, what things to warn women about for safety, where they should be engaging, what muscles should be firing… it was a lot to take in. Every week we would go through more moves, more conditioning, more stretches, review previous moves, how do you word things, how can you modify this exercise… until I could start to find the words and the answers to the questions on my own. Then, the moment came – it was time for my first solo class. It was actually a bachelorette party, which I thought was fitting, since my pole journey started with a bachelorette party. It was amazing. Being able to teach a room full of women how fun pole could be, and helping them celebrate the upcoming big day was so fulfilling. I was so excited about being able to help women to experience the amazing form of fitness that I had grown to love.
The necessary evil of policies
As a business owner there is one big thing I’ve learned in the 9 years my doors have been open and is the importance of policies. They make things clear. They make things consistent. And most importantly, they mean that I am still alive and haven’t died of an ulcer. No joke. Every time any sort of conflict would come up in the early days when we didn’t have policies I’d be super conflicted wanting to be a nice person and wanting to make sure my business was ok. I’d agonize. I’d lose sleep. I’d call my mom/business partner and talk about it for stupid long. I’d be so stressed over whatever it was, then I responded and the person would be fine. They weren’t as concerned as I was. They were just asking a question and I turned it into something major because I’m extremely sensitive and want everyone to be happy. And this is why I worked on creating policies. There are created at a time when it isn’t stomach churning, words have been written and I can just execute. So much better for my mental health. Policies protect our students. We are often asked why we have a “no cameras” until the last five minutes policy and that we ask our students to make sure only THEY are in the picture. Some of our women are not comfortable on social media, they may not want family or friends to see them on a pole or in shorts or may be hiding from a situation you know nothing about. So that’s obvious. But why not take pictures and videos all through class? Because you’re supposed to be experiencing! Not documenting. We want you present in the moment and thinking about yourself and not how what you’re doing is going to look on Facebook. The “no cameras” is a way to help our classes focus on your growth and what really matters and not the external. The five minutes at the end is intended to give you a chance to take notes and document your journey. We do also want to give you the chance to show off and celebrate the goddess you are too! Policies also protect our instructors. We have a policy for anyone teaching pole, hoop, hammock or silks within a 15 mile radius, they aren’t able to participate at Aerial Dance. Why? Am I just an evil person? Hopefully not. Almost all the instructors this applies to were Aerial Dance community members at some time who I genuinely care about, so this was a really hard one for me to create. But Aerial Dance is a business, with bills, lots and lots of bills and so we had to come up with the best options to make the company stable and my staff supported. The reason for this policy is to protect the intellectual property of the company. We do things differently at Aerial Dance. We have different technique and choreography. All of these things my staff have worked HARD to create, spent a lot of time on and I’ve paid them for their time. It is brutally unfair to my team to then see a really cool combo they spent a lot of time and skin creating and taught to a student to show up with someone else making money off it and they, the creator, not getting compensated by the person now profiting from them. This is totally different than posting something on Instagram and wanting people to try it because when someone is profiting from your work you have the right to make the choice if you should be compensated by that person now making money off you. So with this reality, my team and I decided the most logical policy was to have a small non-compete radius and make a unilateral policy. Aerial Dance may have a founder, me, but I’m not a dictator. Every policy has been discussed and voted on by my staff. (some of them, cough Leah cough, especially hate policy meetings…but recognize the importance of it for everyone and how much easier things now that we have black/white.) They have a much better idea of what is going on in the classroom than I do so I rely on them to help me know what policies need to be created. I’m so lucky because I have this amazing team and they help me create policies that protect everyone, including my stomach lining. PS – we’ve also had students email policy requests, the “shorts policy” (minimum coverage) was a student request! Everyone at Aerial Dance helps us make this community amazing and safe for all!
See You In The AM!
Getting Back To It! It has felt like years since I have set foot in the studio! This summer has gotten the best of me. Preaching to the choir I am sure! Who isn’t busy this time of year? Next week summer school comes to an end, and I could not be happier! However, I am nervous to get back to the studio. That may sound extremely silly, but it is true. I haven’t been keeping up with conditioning or aerial classes. I am lucky to even make it to my pole class! It has been 5 years since I began my journey with Aerial Dance, but it is still hard to come back after any kind of break whether long or short. It is hard because I knew where I once was, and feel a little ashamed that I let my skills slide. That is an outrageous thought, but I know many may feel the same. I have always thought that it would be easier to just push off classes at studio, rather than to begin again. That thought though is so WRONG! If I continue to push off those classes…… that means I am giving up on myself. I refuse to give up on myself. The hard truth to face is that giving up on yourself does not make the feeling of failure go away. It makes it worse. I have seen many inspiration posts about “Showing Up”. They couldn’t be more true. I just need to show up! Showing up is the most difficult part. I am working on getting myself back to where I would like to be, but it has not been without making a commitment to myself. I have broken that commitment a few times. The best part is, I can forgive myself and start a new and morning class at the studio may be my saving grace! Morning Classes!!!! This summer Aerial Dance launched morning classes each day of the week. I am very much a morning person! So I was over the moon about these classes! Then reality set in….. I teach summer school 5 weeks out of the summer from 8 until noon. Huge bummer, BUT next week is the last week of summer school and you can bet I will be living at the studio! One the greatest parts about morning classes is they are vary day to day and week to week! You can take aerial classes, pole/floor flow, pole practices, conditioning classes, and flexibility classes! I have heard girls saying, “I don’t think I’ll take morning classes. they are all conditioning or bendy.” That is not true! Be sure to check your app for each day’s schedule! Next week I see that floor flow and beginner hammock are on the schedule! I love hammock classes! Classes being at 8:55, 10, and 11! Even people who don’t favor mornings can make time for class times like that! If you work during they day like I do, I feel you, but if you get a day off, think about squeezing a morning class into your day! Your mind and body will thank you for the workout after! I have said it before and will say it again, I have been DYING for studio time and soon I will have my opportunity to be back! I hope to see you at the studio in the AM soon! Until next time! Janelle
