Self Love and Self Growth
You can love yourself and still want to be better or do better. Please repeat that again to yourself, and maybe again and again and again. Until you believe it. You can love yourself today, and still want better. That has been a realization I have very slowly begun to understand, in great thanks, and very possibly all thanks to the sisterhood and support found at Aerial Dance. You may be asking yourself “how that is possible? How does one find such acceptance and love for themselves and allow it to be ok?” It’s the continuous acceptance and love the other women at the studio show each other. There has not been a day that I walked out of the studio in a worse headspace than I walked in. I am at the studio a lot. For there never to have been a day where my mood didn’t improve walking into the studio is a huge accomplishment. But the way it was accomplished, repeatedly is even more impactful. My mood improves everytime and I can look in the mirror and love myself, because every single time I walk through the doors of Aerial Dance, I am met by an instructor, or a student, or some of both who genuinely care about and accept me as another human trying to make it. There is no contingency on anything. The number of times I have cheered on another woman or been cheered on by one who I had never met before is remarkable. Some of the women at the studio have seen me on some of my worst days. Some of the women have supported me and caught me when I fell (literally) on my weakest days. And yet, they have become my greatest cheerleaders. These women still think I’m all of my best traits. All of these women still support me. All of these women still accept me. Realizing this is what helped me also come to terms with the concept that I can love myself. I can show myself love. And I can still want to be better tomorrow. I used to live in a world where I couldn’t understand how those things could coexist in my brain simultaneously. But they can. I can now look at the mirror and see someone one I love. While I am also seeing someone who needs to run their routine tricks on both side so she bruises equally (meaning, I see someone who can do better). And, I love myself enough now that I want to see myself do better for me. Because I love me. Look in the mirror. Daily. Just do it. Remind yourself that you can love yourself in this moment and you can want to be better. Those things can both exist. When you look in the mirror try to accept that woman. Try to love that woman. Remember that you have a whole sisterhood cheering you on.
No Seriously, We are Spoiled
Recently there was a blog post about the way in which we at Aerial Dance are spoiled due to the time our instructors dedicate, the amount of options and learning experiences we are offered, and the book club and learning library. And while I agree with all of that, the thing I agree with the most, is that there is so much more that makes us spoiled at Aerial Dance. And I think the biggest one is the sisterhood of all women from all walks of life and support that has been fostered and created; starting with our instructors. Our instructors wouldn’t be as dedicated to the hours spent preparing and practicing and training if they did not also feel the connection and believe in the power of what has been fostered. There is a reason the instructors are all homegrown and were members first. They grew their way into the sisterhood one connection at a time, just like we all do. Our instructors have struggled with some of the very same moves we have struggled with. Heck, at times our instructors do struggle with the exact same move we are currently struggling with. Our instructors are all real people, at different levels of their aerial journey. Many of our instructors started and have continued to do aerial for all of their own various reasons, and they bring their true selves to the studio every day. Our instructors know to recommend different variations because they all have different body shapes and abilities so they have lived the short arm struggle, or whatever other various struggle it is. I love taking classes with different instructors because I routinely learn a different way to do or get into a move. Our instructors are routinely the biggest hype girls and it’s not just because they are our instructors and it’s part of their job. It’s genuine. And part of the genuineness comes from the previous point. Our instructors have also struggled with that move. Our instructors have struggled with real life. And they are making it. And they want you to make it too. You feel the support through the happy dance they do for you when you get the move you have been trying. Our instructors are genuinely invested in our well being because they know, our well being individually, our strength individually, is what the power of the Aerial Dance Sisterhood is created of. There is no disputing, individually we are all awesome but the thing that really makes Aerial Dance what it is, is that we all want to make it the welcoming, supportive, inclusive place it is. We, the women, from Founder Paula to our newest members, want to foster a place that brings women together and supports them. All of them. So we are doing it. And that, that is us spoiling ourselves.
Making My Family Proud
One of the things I have learned over the duration of my aerial journey is that the people in my life that truly love and support me also support my aerial journey, and it inspires others – but the latter is for a different time. Those that see the work I put into aerial, but also the fulfillment and benefit I get from aerial, are my biggest supporters. And the thing that helped this process the most, was talking about aerial. I talked about the soreness, I talked about the strength I was gaining, I talked about the tricks and moves I was able to accomplish, I talked about the improvements to my overall wellbeing. I talked about all of it. My dad is one of the prime examples of this. He judged dance my entire life, often referring to the idea that it was not a sport. He is one of the main reasons I had never thought dancing was something I would do or even should do. I was doing aerial for a few months before I told my parents. It was a slow breaking in process. The first time I told them I was going to perform, my dad said he was going to show up at the show in short shorts and a crop top that said he was my dad. He would frequently make joking statements that posed pole in a sexual way. Looking back, I really think it was his way of trying to deal with the unknown and uncomfortable stigma associated with pole dancing. Through continuously talking about how great aerial was for me and how much I enjoyed it, showing them all of my bruises, talking about the cool tricks I was doing, paired with all of my friends and family seeing that I was healthier, physically, mentally, emotionally, as a whole, I was a healthier being, it started to not only be accepted but shared with others. My dad also began sending me clips he’d see of others doing aerial dance and he paid attention to the strength it took people to do them. The only thing I had changed in my life was I became a pole dancer and then an aerialist. And my loved ones watched it happen. And then my dad came to the annual show the first year I performed (and to all of my other performances since) and his opinion changed. When he saw not only me, but all of the other women, of all different ages and sizes doing all of the different things, he understood. He was able to understand the strength and dedication that was going toward the sport. When he saw me up on a stage doing something I would never have dreamed of with confidence I did not previously know I had, enjoying myself, he was proud. After the show, he started talking to others frequently about “how I do that stuff”. The moral of the story is, the more I talk about and show what aerial did for me the more it normalized it and the more support I got from those that loved me. Be proud of your journey and the strength you are building, others will notice and be proud of you too.
A Uniquely Individualized Workout
I am so happy and thankful to be apart of such a great group of ladies in this program! I never saw myself being able to even think about taking pole classes. I always thought I wouldn’t be talented or graceful enough to do it. Also, I know it takes a lot of strength which is something I always seemed to fall short on. I decided to take a leap and give it a try just to see if I could maybe learn it if I put in enough effort and practice. To my surprise, not only have I been progressing but I have also found myself excited about it and wanting to actually continue with it. That is something I always struggled with was wanting to keep on with an activity, I always found myself bored and wanted to jump to the next best thing. I am actually learning and improving, but most of all it is such a comforting environment I actually enjoy coming here to talk to all the women. Everyone is so supportive and empowering that it doesn’t have the negative atmosphere like most gyms have. More often than not when I go to the gym I always feel judged and like everyone is staring at you, but here it is just so welcoming and up-lifting. Nobody is judgmental and we are all here for the same reason, and love to see each other progress. The levels are tailored to meet everyone’s needs and they will show you more challenging moves so you continue to progress and get better. It makes you feel like you actually can accomplish whatever you set your mind to because they will find a way to customize the moves or the teaching methods to make sure you are able to achieve it at your own level. You are able to go as fast or slow paced as you need to as you are learning, and the instructors are more than happy to meet you at your own pace. The hours of the classes are before and after my work schedule so it fits perfectly and is a great way to de stress after a long day at work. I could not be more excited and happy to be apart of such a supportive team. I truly do enjoy coming to class every day and cant wait to see where this will take me.
What Aerial Does for Me
Deciding what to prioritize in life is hard. Frequently I try to decide between rest, a shower, going to class, doing the dishes, working on a craft, etc. The list is long and the time is short. I frequently thought my time was limited due to the little humans in my life I am trying to raise **read, keep alive.** But, recently I have been in class with women who have no littles, and well, they were talking about the same topic. There just is not enough time in the day to do all of life. So, with not enough time, how do we continue to make Aerial Dance be what gets our attention? The answer for me is, what is the most productive/efficient/effective each day. The answer typically is going to a class. The class I choose may vary though. Do I need to “rest”? Maybe then I take a bendy or an aerial yoga. Do I need to “work it out”? Maybe I will do a hammock fit or pole strong. Do I need to “do cool stuff”? Maybe I need to do a spins or a flow or an aerial class. Do I need to move and feel one with my body? Maybe it’s dance cardio. Do I just need to help my mental health and get out of the house? Maybe it is whatever class is at the time I am free. And the amazing thing is, whichever class I choose, it typically not only serves the needed purpose but also fills cups I didn’t know needed to be filled. I have found that while the statement you get out of it what you put into it is true, sometimes at Aerial, all I have to do is show up. Literally, walk through the doors, and I start to feel my cups fill. I start to feel a connection. The other thing I take into consideration is, if I didn’t do xyz how will it make me feel? And I can say, while I have never regretted skipping folding laundry, I have most definitely regretted not walking through the doors to the studio for an hour or three. Even the days when the moves do not happen, or the grip is not there, or I am going on little sleep, I do not regret going to a class. When you consider if you have enough time in your day, consider what cups need filling and just how much walking through the door for class will give you.
Performing Sparks Growth
This year, I had the pleasure of performing in my first Student Showcase. Being involved with Aerial Dance has been a wonderful experience. I am inspired by the powerful women who teach and participate in their programs. Everyone is always kind, uplifting, and encouraging. Dance has always been a passion of mine, and this amazing company has reintroduced me to dance as a learner, rather than just a mother or teacher of a dancer. I’ve learned so much and, with the support of my instructors, have pushed myself to explore new possibilities I didn’t realize existed. I’ve discovered the incredible power my body can harness when I engage in something I truly love. My years at the gym never gave me the sense of strength and joy that dancing does. Participating in the Showcase allowed me to share my joy of dance with my loved ones. It has become more than just a performance; it provided me with a goal to strive towards, an opportunity to grow beyond my natural abilities, and a healthy sense of nervousness that taught me to stay calm and persevere. The Showcase was more than just a performance; it was a milestone that provided me with a goal to strive towards and a sense of purpose. Having the Student Showcase laying on my shoulders and the need to be prepared and ready, I was able to push myself further than I had been in the past. I had a place I needed to be at with certain moves and it pushed me to continue to get there and pushed me to keep practicing. I am grateful not only for this company, which empowers women to find passion and build themselves up physically, mentally, and socially, but also for my friends and family who supported me throughout this journey and during my performance. This experience has inspired me to continue pursuing my dance aspirations and has given me a renewed sense of purpose and enthusiasm for life. I eagerly look forward to exploring new possibilities and embracing the growth that lies ahead.
Variety in Workouts
Since I have started to focus on aerial I have gotten so much stronger than I ever thought I would be able to! I have always been really into farming and I have always been focused on how I can keep myself in shape for my horses outside of the standard horseback riding season. This has become a great way for me to keep my strength up and also have fun while doing it! I have noticed my balance has become so much better as well, which has definitely helped me while in the horseback riding industry as well! I have found myself taking much better care of myself also and actually paying attention to the foods I eat to make sure I am fueling my body properly so that I can excel to my full potential. There is so much of a different variety in the classes and it is truly something I never find myself getting bored of because there are always new things to learn and different types of classes to try out as well! I have been able to make so many friends here, and everyone is so supportive and uplifting. It is so much different than the judgemental work out gym atmosphere where you feel nervous that everyone is watching you. Here everyone is so welcoming and supportive it truly makes you feel like you fit in. Every type of class has something a little bit different to offer and that is something that has really helped me a lot since I normally always find myself getting bored of everything that I start to do. With this I have been able to actually stick with it and enjoy it also! I am really so happy I decided to start coming here and doing this. I don’t think I would ever be this strong without giving it a chance! I am so excited to see where this journey takes me and every single day I find myself learning more and more and being so excited to go to classes and better myself! It is so much fun truly and something I will definitely be making my friends try with me in the near future!
Just Be YOU
Just over a year ago I joined Aerial Dance for a Beginner Pole course. My best friend convinced me to give it (and myself!) a shot, and I finally jumped in. The two hours before my first class I was TERRIFIED! What do I do? What do I say? Does the pole spin? Do I spin? What do I wear? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I was so nervous that I almost didn’t show up, but thankfully I threw my car into drive and cruised down 41. I walked into the studio and saw the beautiful sheer curtains and thought “well, this isn’t so bad…” until I pulled them back and saw a small studio with roughly 10 poles, and realized I was going to have to do something on one of those poles! The majority of that first class I was silent, with a few giggles directed at my best friend, and I went home in immense pain. I had no idea what I was in store for, but I kind of liked it. As the weeks went on, I let myself be… well, myself. I was making jokes, laughing out loud at my friend, cheering her on, asking questions, you name it. I wore what made me comfortable, including shorts that helped me to perform to the best of my ability, and at times, just my sports bra on top. Nobody cared what I was wearing, and nobody batted an eye if I could, or could not, get a move that we were trying out. I was in my element, and I was feeling like I could finally succeed and love myself! As time went on, I continued to just be who I was, not thinking much of it. I had the same 2 or 3 instructors each week as I only went on one night. Recently I went to a member event and some of the other instructors I hadn’t seen in a while came to say hello. They mentioned missing me in class because I brought joy and excitement into class; and let me tell you, that filled my cup right up! I had no idea that being myself would be ENJOYED by others. I was just trying to make myself happy, and it was in turn making the studio a better place as well. That is a double bonus in my eyes, and I hope that this encourages others to be confident enough to be themselves as well.
Comparing isn’t Always “Bad”
Throughout life we as humans, but especially women, seem to default to comparing our progress and ourselves to others. For the longest time, I grappled with asking people about their journeys because I did not want to compare. And even more, I did not want my intrigue and sharing to be thought of as comparison. And I also knew, my questions were never coming from a place of comparison, my questions were coming from wanting to learn more, from wanting to get any possible advice for a move or situation, or sometimes simply because I want to know others’ experiences. I distinctly remember numerous times since starting my time with Aerial Dance when I either questioned or wanted to question how someone got to where they are. Or how they manage to work and do aerial. Oh, and have children too? Wait, you can do aerial the entire time you are pregnant? But also, what works the best? For all of it? How do you find time to shower? There are so many questions to be asked and even more information to be learned; most of which seems to come from looking at other people- what they do, have done, and continue to do. After a fair amount of self-reflection, I have come to realize, the comparisons I make are me making them, in my brain. They are me judging my own journey. The comparison does not come from asking others about their journey or from others at all. At least not the comparison I am trying to avoid, and dare I say, am fearful of. This may seem like common sense, but it was eye opening to realize I had control over the framing of my mindset. The same kind of “aha!” moment as when I realized an outside leg hang was called that because you used your outside leg, you all know that kind of moment. I truly believe discussing our journeys through life and aerial and all things, is in fact what encourages and helps me the most. It is where I learn, not only the most about my aerial journey, but also about life. When I look at comparison as a place of growth, it changes the entirety of my thoughts. It no longer feels heavy or “wrong”. It feels like opportunity, experience, knowledge. It feels like support and validation. It feels light.
