Thankful for Online Options!
As I am working through my journey back to strength and mobility, I am taking as many classes at Aerial Dance as I can. I am so grateful for the variety and to see all of the smiling eyes of the instructors and students. This has been harder than I thought it would be with a six month old. Izzy wants to be held all of the time. Arnie’s and my body are breaking down from holding the 21 pounder all of the time and compensating in horrendous ways. She also won’t take a bottle anymore so we really have to be good at coordinating when I go to the studio in between feedings. But boy, when I do get to go to the studio, I am so happy afterwards. These classes give me so much motivation to keep powering through. While nothing beats the in-person environment of the studio, it is so great to be able to take Online classes as home. The first time I used Pole Studio Manager (PSM) for an online class I was pleasantly surprised because it was amazing! I personally find it to have much better visual and audio than any other platform. I feel like I am right in the room with everyone. Way to go Paula and co for designing such an amazing and versatile platform for us to stay connected and keep fit! Lastly, don’t forget to take advantage of the videos in PSM! They are such great quality and a phenomenal way to review all of the cool things you do at Aerial Dance.
2020 in review
As this dumpster fire of a year comes to a close, it seems important to reflect on what we’ve learned and what we’re thankful for. As the founder of Aerial Dance, I am so thankful we are still open. So many studios and small businesses have not made it and my heart aches for them. This year was a terrifying and horrifying reality that you can lose everything you have sacrificed to build through no action of your own. That is a crappy realization. To be honest, I’m terrified that the precedent has been set that the government can dictate if a business can be open or not; that wasn’t even something in the realm of possibilities before this year and is beyond scary. Why start a business if you can literally have it taken from you? Moving forward, this creates a whole new dynamic for how I will need to position my company, innovate and save. But what I did learn this year that didn’t suck, is that the community we have built is so strong. My instructors are truly the best. They rolled with a million and six changes. They enforced policies they may not have agreed with personally. They welcomed students into their homes. They created new and engaging content during a time when all of us were exhausted. They brought joy and comfort in a time when we were all scared. They continued to evolve as the situation did and took on whatever role was needed to keep Aerial Dance open. It sucks that the year when I want more than anything to give them huge bonuses to acknowledge their amazingness is the year I can’t afford to without jeopardizing the company’s future. That’s a bitter pill for me to swallow because I know the reason Aerial Dance is still strong after this tumultuous years is because of my Instructor team. The other people who kept us strong is our members. Our members stayed with us. So many members kept their memberships live even when they weren’t attending in person. I don’t have words to express what this meant, but frankly we are on the other side because you chose to do this. Our members heard the rally that small businesses needed them and stepped up; our members brought friends, took more workshops, and bought gift cards. Our members lifted each other up in our FB groups and helped members feel connected and cared for in this disjointed time. Our members sent ideas and inspiration to our instructors and challenged us to keep inventing. Aerial Dance is a strong company because of the women who have chosen to make it their home away from home. As 2020 comes to a close, even through the feelings of anger, disillusion and confusion, the overwhelming feeling I have is gratitude. I have learned so much about love and trust this year. I have learned how planning is great but what truly matters is teamwork. I have learned that we truly are strongest when we are together and I am so grateful for each and every person who has been with me on this journey and supported Aerial Dance through this storm. I have no clue what 2021 will bring; I’ve learned that trying to guess is pointless as no guesses last year could have come close to what happened. But I do know that Aerial Dance will be fine because of the women who keep holding it up. I’m just so very blessed to have this amazing community supporting my company.
What Kind of Goal Setter Are You?
I’ve been learning a lot about myself and my goals recently as I have been continuing my search for a new “muggle” job and I thought some of you might take something away from my ramblings. For those who don’t know, I was a music teacher until this last spring when I decided to not renew my teaching contract to come back in the fall. I have been working with other teachers around the country as part of a group for teachers leaving their classrooms to find new jobs, so there have been plenty of discussions about goal-setting in the job searching process. For some people, having a reward planned out for themselves is a great way to achieve their goals and I’ve learned a lot of people scale their rewards to the “size” of their goal. Do something small, get a small reward. Do something big or something that was extra scary, maybe they’re buying themselves a lavish dinner! I could see this working for a lot of us at the studio. Some days, the goal may be to show up and just do something. Getting up and going might constitute the reward of a latte from your favorite coffee place. Or maybe you’re planning a big, scary goal, like signing up for a competition. Signing up and getting that routine planned might mean you get yourself a cute new pole outfit as the reward! For me, though…. If I want that latte, I’ll just go get it now. If I want to watch an hour of trashy television, I’m going to do it. I have found that a reward system isn’t the system for me. I’m a data person. I’m a lists person. If I can check something off a list or look at numbers and see improvement or growth, that pumps me up. This got me to thinking about some goal setting techniques I learned throughout my teaching. Some of you in the “corporate” world might use goal-setting skills like SMART goals or PDSA. I can only speak to what I know, but some of you “numbers” people might take a liking to these. A SMART goal is a goal that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based. I love using this framework because it’s practical and sets up you for success. A SMART goal for you will be something specific and relevant to the work your doing so you do not compare yourself to others. It will be time-based, so you get set bite-sized goals and see if you were successful. For example for a beginner in pole, a great SMART goal would be to use all of your classes AND practices! If you want to be more specific, challenge yourself to practice the newest spin you learned in class at your practice. That way you can track what you worked on, your Aerial Dance account will show you if you’ve used all of your classes and practices, it’s based on the ability you’re at right now, and it’s time-based within that 8-week term! Another great way to track your progress is a PDSA goal. This style of goal setting has a few names, but I know it as Plan, Do, Study, Act. What I like about this style is it’s cyclical, not linear. You PLAN your big goal, but ALSO the small steps you’re going to take to get you there. As you start to DO those small steps, after some time (we did 2-week cycles) you’re going to revisit your small and big plans. STUDY how your process is going. Are the small steps still helping you get to your big goal? Have you been showing up to do those small steps? Finally, you’ll ACT on what your study has found. Based on your work so far, does anything need to be changed to help you achieve your goal? Have you already reached your goal and now it needs to be more challenging or completely different? This style doesn’t necessarily have an end as it can keep morphing as you do your steps and study how your progress is going. Goal setting is tricky. Finding goals that are attainable and relevant to you are important and figuring out what kind of goal setter you are can be revolutionary. Can you make a list of small and big rewards that would encourage you to keep going? Are you a data-tracker and list-maker that would benefit from analyzing what you work on? Maybe you’re a mixture of both! Knowing how to keep your motivation going can be the ultimate game-changer!
Small Steps
This meme came up in my FB feed the other day and I was gobsmacked at the accuracy. And how this visualization made me realize how critical small steps are. We say it. ALL THE TIME. Instructor Sara has taught me “step 1: show up” is a very useful mantra. But I never thought of it as a ladder and this visual really hit home. As the new year approaches I’m seeing so many “new years resolution” promises and accountability requests. And 99% of the time that I see them, I know they are going to fail because they are reaching like the person on the right ladder. Deciding to do a whole life change on a date is simply unlikely. Habit changes take time. Developing new behavior takes time. And if you bit of a little chunk at a time, just like when climbing the pole, it is easier. As you think about what your goals are for 2021, remember the quote from Darrell Hammond, “I’ve become fascinated by the idea that it’s really achievable to make two or three small improvements in a week and by the end of the year, it’s 150 improvements.” What small little things can you do. Instead of thinking of some lofty goal, be the person on the left ladder and just take a tiny step every day. With those tiny steps you’ll climb a lot father. What is a small step? Something you can accomplish TODAY. Like “eat spinach”. Not “eat more fruits and vegetables daily and drop 30 pounds this month”. We hear so often about SMART goal setting and the importance of long term planning; yes, it has a place in your brain, but the more you focus on the small step you can fully complete today the more reachable the ladder rung will be. What is a small step you would like to accomplish today?
Forced Positivity
“2020 has actually been the best year of your life. You’ve faced challenge after challenge. You’ve adapted and overcome. 2020 has forced you to grow exponentially. Don’t take that for granted?” Can you believe that this is now the quote/meme that is circling around on social media everywhere. Who really has the balls to write this crap…… Sorry to be so blunt. 2020 has not been that best year of everyone’s lives. I know everyone is sick of talking about the pandemic, but another thing that I am so sick of is toxic positivity that is constantly being thrust down our throats. The quote above is a prime example of toxic positivity. We can all agree that this year has caused many people and businesses to adjust, but that doesn’t mean that we need to be thankful for the stress, anxiety, and the physical, mental or financial distress that year has brought. Everyone experiences toxic positivity at some point. There is a huge difference between being uplifting and being toxic. For those of you who don’t know what the definition of toxic positivity is, it is defined by the Psychology Group as the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience. I wish we could normalize that negative/uncomfortable emotions are OKAY! WE ARE ALL HUMANS! WE HAVE REAL AND RAW EMOTIONS! It is okay, EVEN healthy to feel all ranges of our emotions. If this pandemic has made you feel like you are a tidal wave of emotions IT’S OKAY! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You do not need to feel guilty, ashamed, or even question if you should be more positive during this time. You do what you need for you! If you are looking for a place to help you feel more genuine positivity, I would highly recommend Aerial Dance WI. Even though I had to step away from the studio, I was never on my own. My aerial sisters were there in chat groups, virtual get togethers, and plain old phone conversations. The friendships created at Aerial Dance are built on a foundation of trust, understanding, a listening ear (not intending to fix you, but will be there for you). Remember ladies, it is okay to not be okay!
Dreams
My aerial life began with a dream and a dream only. If you haven’t heard my aerial origin story yet, here it comes! I saw a woman perform on silks in a circus when my kids were pretty much toddlers, so 13-14 years ago. I was in love instantly and said to myself that I had no idea where or how it would happen, but someday I would learn how to do that! Now, I have no athletic background, I was never a member of any sports team in my youth nor had I ever taken a dance class. When we had to run the mile in school for the first time – I was 10 years old – my clocked time was 12:12! I WAS in gymnastics in kindergarten but quit after my first year because I was afraid to attempt cartwheels the next year (yep, 100% serious). This year has been a challenge for sure! Making plans is almost impossible because you don’t know what the world is going to look like tomorrow let alone a week from now or a month, etc. That definitely makes planning and dreaming hard or even feel like it’s no longer a possibility. What I’m trying to tell you is that it’s ok to dream about the things that you want to do even if you don’t have the ability to make solid plans for how they are going to be accomplished. Even if those dreams feel like a wish made on dandelion fluff. I’m not saying that you won’t have to take steps toward those dreams OR that you won’t have to work to achieve them, but sometimes we aren’t sure what the steps are that we need to take or the timing just isn’t right in our life right now. Those are real things. The phrase “be careful what you wish for” also pops into my head here, but not so much as a warning, more like when you dream of something it sometimes comes into your reality in a different way than you expected and that can be amazing too! I just wanted to learn how to make those cool shapes in the fabric – that turned into so many other things that I wouldn’t have known to even dream or wish for!! DREAM . . . . WISH . . . . .take a deep breath and BLOW on that fluff!! Put those dreams out into the world in whatever way makes you happy ~ you never know what they might bring you!
Self Care versus Self Comfort
There are so many memes about self care. There are checklists, tons of suggested activities to do and beautiful images of serene hammocks by the ocean. Of course I want a hammock with an ocean breeze. But is it self care? Not necessarily. In words from “Body Kindness” by Rebecca Scritchfield, the idea of self care is truly rooted in one question: “Is this helping to create a better life for myself.” What’s important to note here is that we are talking LONG TERM when self care is the focus. Self Care is about creating the LIFE you want. Self care is not about the short term, it is about the long term health of your body and overall love for yourself. Self care is continual. It is the little things you do every day that create a better life for yourself in the long term. It may be things that give you comfort in the short term but true self care are the things that help you create the life you want in the long term. Self comfort answers yes to the question “will this make me feel better right now?” If the answer to this question is no, but I will feel better right by doing this, then you are practicing self comfort not self care. And that is ok, but be aware these aren’t the same two things. Self comfort is extremely needed, especially right now when the world is still up in arms and stress and confusion is everywhere. For me self comfort may be having a glass of wine while I take a bubble bath. The wine is self comfort while the bubble bath is self care. I know the drinking alcohol makes me not sleep as well. I also know that it keeps me from my body weight goals. But sometimes that glass of wine helps me numb and on some days I choose to numb because I don’t have anything left in the tank to build the life that doesn’t need numbing which is the long term goal. So in those moments I accept and am grateful for the self comfort and know that tomorrow when I am in a better head space I can once again go full in choosing steps that create the long term goal of a wonderful life. Being kind to myself is never wrong. But some actions that may illicit comfort may keep you from your long term goals. So give your “self care” list a good look over and ascertain which are true self care options and which are self comfort. Keep all on the list of things to be kind to yourself but be aware when your self comfort is for the short term good versus when the actions are helping you create a better life.
The Countdown is On
I bet you think that I am talking about the countdown to Christmas, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The countdown that I am talking about is my return to Aerial Dance. At this time I am filled with so many emotions, excitement, fear, joy, dred…and the list goes on. 2020 forced me to make a very difficult decision to step away from Aerial Dance. I have been trying not to let the pandemic make my decisions for me, but at that very moment in time 2020 won. Ever since I made the decision to “stop” my aerial journey, there was a little voice constantly nagging/whispering how much I still needed the studio. Each time I would log onto social media and see my aerial sisters still crushing their aerial goals a little more of me would crumble away. I knew that a big piece of what made me, me was missing. When I began my aerial journey over six years ago it was an exhilarating decision. At that time I was afraid of what it was going to be like to try something new. What I found out real quick was that Aerial Dance is an amazing community of women and that the aerial arts are an art form beyond compare! As I began my journey, I quickly began to see changes in me physically and mentally. So why is it now that as I am about to make my return to something I love even more frightening? Well, everyone knows that starting something new is scary, but there is something even more scary than something new…….. It’s starting over or beginning again. It takes great courage to try something for the first time, but it takes an even greater strength to start over. As I return to the studio, I am afraid that I will hold myself to my old expectations of where I used to be, not to where I am now. I am also afraid to see just how much I have lost in physical strength. It will be a challenge, but I am trying to construct a plan to help myself take baby steps and not beat myself up along the way. Beyond all my fears of returning, there is one thing I know. I know that when I walk through those studio doors, I will be embraced with open arms (really air hugs, because you know COVID). I know that it will feel like coming home. The best part about starting anew is that my aerial sisters and instructors will be there encouraging me , being patient with me, and uplifting me as I navigate my way through starting my journey for the second time. I can’t wait to see you all real soon!
Avoid the Funk
We are now approximately one month out from the annual show. Most of us have come down from the excitement and all of the craziness has settled. Every year, it happens to me at about this time: post-show funk. The dust has settled and after working so hard for something, it’s done and just I feel like I’m missing a purpose for my training now. After experiencing this for so many years now, I’m starting to figure out how to beat it. The biggest thing I am doing differently this year is goal setting. We all set goals and try to attain them, but currently I’m focusing more on them than I typically do. I am actively writing them down, sharing them with others to help keep me accountable, and focusing my extra energies on working towards them. By doing this, I have rejuvenated my purpose for my personal training to help me avoid my natural funk. I may not be preparing for a big performance, but by having well defined goals, I still have something to work for. The second big thing I am doing is sticking to a set schedule for my personal training. I teach ~20 hours a week at the studios. I don’t consider those classes MY training (unless they are cardio, man I stink at cardio). When I’m teaching, I’m not working on my tricks or my goals, I’m helping others focus on THEIR goals and achieving their tricks. Finding, or rather making the time for my personal training, working on MY trick goals has been super helpful. It is a difficult balancing act at times to put in the extra effort to work on my own stuff, but when I do I always feel rejuvenated afterwards. The final change I’m focusing on is my self care and rest. If I don’t take the time and effort to properly care for my body, then my training doesn’t go as well. There is a direct correlation between the quality of my rest and the quality of my training. It has taken me longer than I’d like to admit to realize this. It has been small changes accumulating over time, like paying closer attention to what I snack on, drinking enough water, getting enough quality sleep at night, etc., as well as bigger changes like starting to see a chiropractor, and doing manual therapy on my shoulders. All of these things affect the quality of my rest and recovery, so they also then affect my training. By taking the time and effort to pay attention to these details, I’m getting better recovery on my rest days and thus more out of my training on my active days. As we wave good-bye to the 2020 Aerial Extravaganza and all of it’s glory, don’t loose sight of your training. Fight the funk with me and keep getting after your goals.
Introduction to Pole
Hello! So you might be thinking from the title that I am going to talk about one of the classes offered at Aerial Pole Dance and Exercise. Sort of, but not exactly. Insert appropriate emoji here. (Is it just me, or does it seem harder to write these days without using emoji? You`d think an MA holder could do so, but I digress.) Anyway, let me go back a bit. My name is Alyssa and I have been taking pole for the last 6 months. Or, well, restarted. I was first introduced to pole and aerial back around 2013, when I was living in South Korea. Yes, South Korea. To answer some questions that might have popped into your mind: yes- I speak Korean (sort of). And no- people in South Korea don`t live in fear of North Korea. Yes- some form of Kimchi is eaten with every meal. Yes- they do bow and depending on your place in the hierarchy, you have to shake hands (or serve drinks) a certain way too. No- they are not into American football, but they do love baseball and soccer. And of course- Kpop is the most popular form of music over there. I have lived that life (of a fan) if you ever want to hear more. Let’s just say- it was awesome. And slightly dramatic. Okay, let me return to my original point. My intro to pole was in South Korea at a networking party. My opinion of pole was that of many people, especially those from a conservative, Christian environment: it was only for strippers, low-lifes, shady people, and those who take advantage of the system. I was dead wrong. But it wasn’t until I went to a networking party as my friend, who was a writer, as her wing-woman. Truth be told, I didn’t want to go, and even while we were there, I was really awkward and was getting jealous of people pretty quickly. Then we met a music producer who worked with some of Korea’s biggest artists at the time like Taeyang from Big Bang. I mentioned that I was a dancer, and he told me about his friend HyunJoo Kang who owned a pole dancing studio called JK Pole Dance Studio. I was skeptical, but thought I would give the place a try. That chance encounter changed my life. I took my first pole class and fell in love. I was able to find a loving, compassionate, and encouraging social group (albeit language was still a bit of a struggle) and a new form of dance that I probably never would have tried otherwise. It opened my eyes to new people and new ways of thinking. It introduced me to one of the best groups of people I will ever meet. I regret nothing.
