In early 2008 my addiction for pole hit full force when I was taught to invert. I love the spins, I loved feeling graceful (note that I “felt” graceful rather than give myself credit for actually looking graceful to anyone else! Pole is all about how YOU FEEL!) Like at Aerial Dance, my first invert was a serpent. I was SO EXCITED when I got to hang there and feel totally secure!!!! I loved hanging by my legs…even with my snazzy white tennis shoes on!
I was lucky because inverting came fairly natural to me. I understood how to get my hips up without thinking about it. I’m sure that my teacher was horrified by my form. I’m sure my first invert was a “big-toe scramble” up the pole. But I understood that saving energy was actually going for a clean leg placement quickly, which put my hips into the correct place. This helped me progress quickly through the first few inverts.
One thing I DO remember is how much inside leg hangs hurt. Man oh man, that was a whole new level of discomfort. Yes, sitting hurt when I did that, but inside leg hangs left an entire LINE of bruising up my leg. Yes I felt totally secure but IT HURT for WEEKS.
AND it does again. I think one of the most frustrating things about coming back to pole after my shoulder surgery is that it hurts again. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve become a wimp, when it hurts I want to quit. Actually I don’t think it’s that I’m a wimp. I think that when I was first learning a move I was so determined to GET the trick that I would have endured almost anything. Now that I “have” the move, or did, the pain to get it back seems more painful and I’m less interested in putting up with it because I “should have this” already. I’m angry at the pain for being there since I feel it shouldn’t be, rather than seeing it as a challenge to over come to get what I want. That mindset is hampering my returning to pole as quickly as I had hoped and is something that I am trying to fight through. I need to re-frame the pain and get back my “I’m going to do this regardless” attitude!