In 2020, as I watched the J-Lo/Shakira halftime show, the empowering feminine energy triggered a memory from over a decade prior. I wanted to take pole dancing classes, but at that time I couldn’t find a studio nearby, nor anyone to go with. I let that idea fade until this moment, when I was overflowing with joy from being reminded of my love for music and dance.
I was so nervous going into my first class. I struggle going anywhere new, especially alone. I think many of us like the idea of doing new things with friends, but the reality of it is, it’s not always going to work out that way. We can’t hold ourselves back from something we might enjoy, simply because we’re afraid of doing it alone. So here I was telling myself to put my big girl panties on as I walked in the door.
I fell in love that first day; It brought back this spark that had been missing for quite some time. My earliest joyful memories are of me dancing and twirling in the grass. When I was a child, I always wanted to join dance, but being a part of a large family, I never had that opportunity. As I got older, I held the belief that it was too late and I wouldn’t be able to do it, so I never tried. During that first day I was finally giving my inner child what she has always wanted, and she was so full of excitement.
Attending class didn’t just bring back joy, it brought back confidence, it brought back strength, and self-love. It brought back the parts of myself that I had abandoned long ago after enduring trauma. It has helped me grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially. There are days when I am feeling at my lowest, but I force myself to go. The love and support from the ladies in class have helped lift my spirits to bring me some of my best days.
What I thought was going to be just a fun workout, turned into more than I ever imagined. It is a community of love that has helped me heal my inner child and allowed me the space to grow into the best version of myself. I’ve never regretted talking myself into walking through that door, but I sure would have missed a lot if I didn’t.