The Day I Fought The Scale and Won

We all have a different relationship with the scale. I have never been very fond of it in the past, because I had always had a negative association with the number that it puts out, no matter what it was.
I had avoided using the scale for the past two years. Sure, I had my weight checked at the doctor’s office, but I hadn’t used a personal scale in at least that long. I thought that it meant that the scale didn’t own me. My avoidance of the scale proved that to be wrong. It owned ME. I was fearful of the feelings I would have when I saw that number, so I ran from it.
 
I was out at a store with my friend the other day, and we stopped at the aisle with scales. I ended up buying one, which surprised me a little. I got home, set it up, stepped on it. I’m 5′ 0.5″ . My BMI says I should be 125lbs. I get up there and it flashes a number–
174.4
I expected to feel sick, to feel bad, or to have the dialogue in my head turn negative. That’s the way it was any other time I stepped on the scale! Oddly enough, that didn’t happen. I saw the number, accepted it, then I carried on my merry way.
I had fought the scale and won. It no longer owned me, I owned it.  Here’s why:
It’s a number. In case you didn’t know, we are all more than any number. We are not our pant size, our shoe size, or our weight. We are complex individuals with a number of beautiful and unique facets. Each one of us has a unique genetic makeup that cannot be replicated, and a series of experiences in our lives that no one else will ever have. We, as humans, are far more than just a number. I am not 174.4, I am so much more–and so are you! Your weight does not define you!
It’s temporary. If I checked my weight right now, I can guarantee I am not 174.4 lbs. I bet you it has changed in one direction or another. It will continue to change and grow as I gain and lose fat, and even as I gain (or lose) muscle. Ladies, we all know that that number jumps at least once a month, then comes back down again! Eat a sandwich–boom, it goes up. Use the restroom–boom, it drops. Should you be aware of your weight? Sure. Should you attach a huge significance to it? No–unless your doctor tells you otherwise!
I love myself. This is probably the biggest reason that I know I own that number. I remember looking in the mirror the day I got the scale and going, “damn woman, you look good.” Curves, stretch marks, and all the weirdness, all of it looked good to me! I know my body isn’t perfect. It’s a work in progress, and it will always be that. I love it now, and I will love it when it is smaller and even if it ever gets bigger. It’s mine. I have good days and I have bad, but no matter what it looks like, I’m not ashamed. It’s taken me a long time to get here, and it’s going to be a lifelong process to keep it up. This was my resolution, and I feel confident that I’ve achieved it. It’s so amazing to be at peace with myself. If you’re going follow any advice I’ve given, please, follow this: learn to love yourself, and keep loving yourself. Physically, mentally, love yourself. 
If you can look at the number on the scale and own it–awesome! If you’re struggling to own it—that’s OK! It’s a process, and everyone’s process is different. I can tell you that my process was greatly aided by my pole and aerial classes. This body of mine might weigh 174.4 lbs, but it’s one amazingly strong and flexible body that can do incredible things on a pole or an aerial device. Realizing that your body is capable of more than you ever thought possible and loving it for what it can do–those are great side effects of learning the aerial arts!