I bet you think that I am talking about the countdown to Christmas, but you couldn’t be more wrong. The countdown that I am talking about is my return to Aerial Dance. At this time I am filled with so many emotions, excitement, fear, joy, dred…and the list goes on. 2020 forced me to make a very difficult decision to step away from Aerial Dance. I have been trying not to let the pandemic make my decisions for me, but at that very moment in time 2020 won.
Ever since I made the decision to “stop” my aerial journey, there was a little voice constantly nagging/whispering how much I still needed the studio. Each time I would log onto social media and see my aerial sisters still crushing their aerial goals a little more of me would crumble away. I knew that a big piece of what made me, me was missing. When I began my aerial journey over six years ago it was an exhilarating decision. At that time I was afraid of what it was going to be like to try something new. What I found out real quick was that Aerial Dance is an amazing community of women and that the aerial arts are an art form beyond compare! As I began my journey, I quickly began to see changes in me physically and mentally.
So why is it now that as I am about to make my return to something I love even more frightening? Well, everyone knows that starting something new is scary, but there is something even more scary than something new…….. It’s starting over or beginning again. It takes great courage to try something for the first time, but it takes an even greater strength to start over.
As I return to the studio, I am afraid that I will hold myself to my old expectations of where I used to be, not to where I am now. I am also afraid to see just how much I have lost in physical strength. It will be a challenge, but I am trying to construct a plan to help myself take baby steps and not beat myself up along the way.
Beyond all my fears of returning, there is one thing I know. I know that when I walk through those studio doors, I will be embraced with open arms (really air hugs, because you know COVID). I know that it will feel like coming home. The best part about starting anew is that my aerial sisters and instructors will be there encouraging me , being patient with me, and uplifting me as I navigate my way through starting my journey for the second time. I can’t wait to see you all real soon!