The art of self-love can take many forms. For some it may be getting a massage, or your hair and nails done. For others it could look like a shopping spree or a trip. For me it includes an impromptu walk through the forest and dancing. There are many ways to show yourself love, however, there is a fine line between self-love and self-sabotage.
Acts of self-love can quickly transform to letting yourself down by sabotaging your personal goals. Overdoing a workout can lead to injury. While overindulging in treats can wreak havoc on your health, or shopping sprees that are leading you to financial ruin. We are often encouraged to indulge because YOLO. It is nice to treat yourself, however without balance, it comes at what expense?
As I learned to navigate that line, I had to develop non-negotiables, that I stick to no matter what. Dance quickly became one of them. I had to turn down many invites or favor requests simply because it was during class time. Don’t get me wrong, rescheduling is extremely easy, however that wasn’t the point. It was about sticking to what was best for me. I know what happens when I break routine. It becomes easier to let things slide, and before I know it, I am no longer showing up for myself. This was my way of preventing my self-sacrificial ways in the name of people pleasing. I have learned to choose myself which is showing my self love.
It also forces me to hold myself more accountable. I have battled depression for many years, while also working through health issues. I have had to push myself to show up more often, than not. If I turn down helping other people so I don’t let myself down, I can’t disappoint myself either, by not pushing through. By going to the same class each week with the same ladies you develop a bond that creates a feeling of safety, opening the space where insecurities have faded to be yourself. I feel safe showing up no matter how I feel that day, and I know I will feel proud on my way home.
Self-love involves self-control. It is showing up for yourself even when you don’t want to. Resisting temptations that aren’t true to yourself, your values, or your goals. It is finding that balance between feeding your soul and filling a void. Sometimes a little tough love is what is best for you.