It is getting to be that time of year again. The days are getting longer and warmer. That means swimsuit season is right around the corner….. In couple of weeks I will be taking a little vacation. I am planning a road trip to Memphis and Little Rock to visit friends. YAY for me, as I don’t ever go on vacations.
As I plan for my trip, it has dawned upon me that none of my swimming suits fit. This brought instant panic and the dreaded fear of swimsuit shopping. This past year, I have been working really hard on building strength. My hard work and determination has lead me to lose about 30lbs. Losing weight was not my intended goal, but it came along with working out more, drinking less alcohol, and eating better. With loosing so much weight, none of my clothes fit. Which brings me back to swimsuit shopping…… Each woman has their own battle while swimsuit shopping and I am going to share mine with you.
A couple weeks ago, I had gone to numerous stores at the mall. Each time I tried on a suit, I would grab a medium top and medium bottom. Depending on the suit, neither of them would fit…. The bottoms always seemed to small and the top fluctuation was ridiculous. Sometimes, I would be drowning in small and other times I was spilling out of a large. Needless to say, I was ready to cry and hide in a hole until next winter, so I would not have to wear a swimsuit. Those few hours I spent shopping had drug my self-esteem through the mud… I felt defeated by a stupid little piece of fabric with a size printed on it. Me? A large? No way! I only wear a size 4/6 pant…. It couldn’t be true, but sure enough that is what the tag says in my new swimsuit bottom.
I stood in the dressing room looking at myself in the mirror and was picking my body apart. I told myself, “You could stand to lose some here, tone up there…..” It made me forget all the hard work I had put in this past year trying to become a healthier person. While tearing myself apart, a little voice in the back of my mind chimed in and said, “It is only a size.”
A size that someone else created and I have no control over. A size that depending on what brand you buy it is completely different and not realistic for most body types! I started thinking about how easy it was for me to tear my body apart, rather than stand there and be proud of my hard work! That little voice telling me it was only a size helped to me realize that it didn’t matter what the tag said as long as I felt comfortable in my own skin. Take it from me, this summer my bottom will be graced with a size large swimsuit bottom! Take a look! I don’t mind as I think my bottom looks pretty dang good in that large!
I know this struggle is real for all woman. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others or holding ourselves to such a high standard. Please don’t stand in front of that mirror and tear yourself to shreds, What I want for you to remember is that It doesn’t matter what the size of your swimsuit says. Be proud of yourself and how hard you have been working on your goals. You are beautiful on the inside and out!
Until Next Time,