Being a Student

So here I am trying to get in better shape. I go the Y and look at the treadmills with disdain but need cardio. Then I think “what are you doing, you own a fitness facility!!!!” And I decided that I could be a student at my own studio.
One of my goals for myself it to focus a little bit more on me the next few months. My shoulder isn’t good and that just can’t be an excuse anymore, I need to work through it, and a big part of that is making the time to actually workout/train/rehabilitate. People outside the fitness industry think that all fitness teachers do is get paid to workout and it just must be so easy to stay in shape. WRONG! When you’re a teacher, you aren’t working out, you’re making sure your class is working out. The intensity you bring to your classes is focused on them so your workout actually isn’t happening much. And worse, your body gets used to a HIGH level of activity so that becomes the “normal” and if you want a workout you need to go above and beyond that. Which means making time to actually push yourself, even after you’ve been at the studio for 12 hours and taught a bunch of classes.
The past year I tried to workout on my own and dismally failed. I HATE working out alone. I HATE working out in general and I was trying to force myself to do all the workouts I hated. Silly Paula! So I’m shifting focus and remembering how much I like to play. So I’ve decided to be a student at Aerial Dance. For the past 5 years I’ve avoided going to classes because as the owner I feel like people are watching me and expecting something from me (like for me to good); I’ve worried that being in a class will make my instructor feel like they are being watched and evaluated. Well, I’ve decided to get over my own insecurities and assure my staff that I’m there for me (and if I happen to have any class tips it will only make things better all around) because I need playmates and someone to push me.
Last night was my first class, I took Pole Flow with Instructor Kim. Pole Flow when I teach it makes me feel beautiful and sexy and that I can move like Instructor Leah (you all know you want to be able to move like Leah…) I know in reality I don’t move at all like her, but when I write a Pole Flow and teach it, it makes me feel pretty. Taking someone else’s Pole Flow made me feel fat, uncoordinated, and out of shape. Which is SUCH a good reminder of how our students feel. And a great illustration of how easy it is when you’re preparing workouts to stay in your comfort zone of moves instead of challenging yourself. After class I was proud of myself for going. I was proud of myself for minimally whining (you should have heard what my head was saying to me!) I was proud of myself for learning something new. I was proud of Kim for giving a great class. I was proud to be part of the room with awesome girls. Today I’m excited to workout. And I’m sore. As much as it is uncomfortable for me to attend classes that push me way outside my comfort zone, it’s going to be so good for me. I’m so excited to be a student! I wonder what I’ll take next week….