You can love yourself and still want to be better or do better. Please repeat that again to yourself, and maybe again and again and again. Until you believe it. You can love yourself today, and still want better. That has been a realization I have very slowly begun to understand, in great thanks, and very possibly all thanks to the sisterhood and support found at Aerial Dance.
You may be asking yourself “how that is possible? How does one find such acceptance and love for themselves and allow it to be ok?” It’s the continuous acceptance and love the other women at the studio show each other. There has not been a day that I walked out of the studio in a worse headspace than I walked in. I am at the studio a lot. For there never to have been a day where my mood didn’t improve walking into the studio is a huge accomplishment. But the way it was accomplished, repeatedly is even more impactful.
My mood improves everytime and I can look in the mirror and love myself, because every single time I walk through the doors of Aerial Dance, I am met by an instructor, or a student, or some of both who genuinely care about and accept me as another human trying to make it. There is no contingency on anything. The number of times I have cheered on another woman or been cheered on by one who I had never met before is remarkable.
Some of the women at the studio have seen me on some of my worst days. Some of the women have supported me and caught me when I fell (literally) on my weakest days. And yet, they have become my greatest cheerleaders. These women still think I’m all of my best traits. All of these women still support me. All of these women still accept me.
Realizing this is what helped me also come to terms with the concept that I can love myself. I can show myself love. And I can still want to be better tomorrow. I used to live in a world where I couldn’t understand how those things could coexist in my brain simultaneously. But they can.
I can now look at the mirror and see someone one I love. While I am also seeing someone who needs to run their routine tricks on both side so she bruises equally (meaning, I see someone who can do better). And, I love myself enough now that I want to see myself do better for me. Because I love me.
Look in the mirror. Daily. Just do it. Remind yourself that you can love yourself in this moment and you can want to be better. Those things can both exist. When you look in the mirror try to accept that woman. Try to love that woman. Remember that you have a whole sisterhood cheering you on.