Just as we begin hearing those first little quips of it being time for sweater weather to arrive, for us to hide those well-earned winter bods, forget about those bikini bodies and shaving our legs, just then–when the warm, comfort of being able to loosen the grip just a smidge on the little voice inside our head that makes us second guess wearing shorts and tank tops even though it’s a thousand degrees out or if we should get in the pool with our kids and ruin our hair and make-up and end up looking like, you know, our truly raw, flawed, at times disheveled selves—there it comes. Halloween. Queue that little voice up again that reminds you that choosing your costume is a decision that can only be made with the acknowledgment that you will have to brace yourself for the darker eyes of judgment if your costume choice is at all remotely revealing or sexual (which it has a high probability of being-trust, we’ll get back to that).
I’ll break this down with a bit on the origin of Halloween, the implementation of costumes as a ritual of celebration, the culture of slut-shaming, and the hopeful notion that dressing up as a sexy nurse for All Hollow’s Eve can be a way to embrace our inner goddess.
According to History.com (Please note that is not an all-inclusive list of each cultures experience and is a little long winded so if you aren’t interested in a Halloween history lesson, skip right on over this part): Halloween originated as the Celtic Festival of Samhain, where people would light bonfires and wear costumes as a way to ward off the ghosts that were able to enter the world of the living on October 31st, which was basically the 2,000 year ago Celt’s version of New Year’s Eve (as November 1st was considered New Year’s Day in that neck of the woods, as well as later being designated as All Saints Day in the 8th Century by Pope Gregory III). Most of this had to do with it getting cold, dark, and not super great for harvesting around that time. The Roman Empire had basically taken over the Celt’s around 43 AD. During that several hundred year period the Roman’s added on a couple of related traditions to honor 2 Goddesses in October, one being the Goddess of fruit, Pomona, and is speculated to be where we ended up with the game of “bobbing for apples.” Or so I’m told. So now we’re in the 9th century and the Catholic Church is running much of the show. A couple of Pope’s decided November 1st would be All Saint’s Day and honor the Christian Martyrs, though before it had been in May. In 1,000 A.D the church dedicated November 2nd as a day to honor the dead which they called All Souls Day. It’s generally consented this was a weird flex by the church to replace the old Celtic traditions with a slightly similar, but super church approved and authorised holiday. The night before that, (October 31st, then became known as All Hollow’s Eve before it became to be the Halloween we now know it as. That almost brings us up to speed and closer to home. Halloween was pretty minor in colonial New England because of the Protestant belief systems most ascribed to there. It was more common in the South and it began to be a mix of many different ethnic and native customs blended. This included parties, ghost stories and general mischief making. Up until the 19th century the rest of America didn’t really celebrate Halloween. Interestingly enough there was a huge flux of immigration late in the 19th century, including millions of Irish that immigrated due to the Irish Potato Famine that ended up the popularization of celebrating Halloween across the country. Somewhere between the 1930’s-50’s we slowly created the holiday we are familiar with- trick or treating and costume parties.
Which brings me back to the shameful connotation that some ascribe to those sexy costumes we’re here to discuss. So, what exactly is slut-shaming, you ask? It’s defined on dictionary.com “as the practice of disparaging women, and occasionally men, for acting in a manner that violates “norms” regarding sexually appropriate behavior. These denigrations, which are often double standards, range from criticizing women for wearing sexy clothing or having multiple sexual partners, to blaming sexual assault and rape survivors for their attacks.” As a member of our high context culture, with a booming financial agenda to keep women buying into the idea that they must be beautiful to be worthy, we have created a strong market for capitalizing on really all holidays, but uniquely so with Halloween.
I believe this uniqueness is aligned with our cultures long developed hypersexualization of the human existence which has been done in a way that simultaneously strips it of it’s true, raw, spiritual essence. It is as natural as the air we breathe. Combine this with our patriarchal societal norm to assign women an arbitrary, always shifting boundary of what is ok for them to do, act, say, wear, in order to not be TOO slutty and we begin to see the patterns of young women being sent home for wearing distracting, shoulder revealing tank tops. We begin to see why, ironically, nearly every adult female Halloween costume is a “sexy” nurse, a “sexy” cat, or just sexual in nature. We have been given this privileged idea that sexy Halloween costumes lie behind that invisible line of too slutty, so we do it. We wear the sexy costumes and we frickin LIKE it. And here’s where that constantly changing boundary is again moved to or by whomever it may convenience to still victimize us for acknowledging and expressing our sexuality in a way we enjoy-while we are being encouraged to it do it! This shaming behavior can be the damning scorn of other women too afraid or insecure for their own reasons to enjoy or accept it. It’s the “locker room” humor between the boys that shares banter of what a bunch of whores these sexy kitties and sexy police officers are.
The deeply ingrained belief we’ve all been sold that there is something wrong with honoring the divine feminine that is flowing with sensual creative potential (as well as you know, wisdom, nurturing, power, vulnerability, and so much more). Owning this innately sexual, sacred energy can be extraordinarily empowering and open up within us a massive creative energy potential that we can harness to make changes to ourselves, to our little bubble of the world around us, and even beyond should we choose to and be blessed enough to have access to the necessary resources. It can awaken the playful, ingenious creativity that we can use to simply enjoy becoming engaged with our own version of art. How cool is that?
I’m thankful to have a community at Aerial that inspires me to think outside the box and be confident enough to express my core values and share them with those that also resonate with. One awesome, enlightening moment at a time, finding my beauty, finding my strength.
