The older I get, the more I forget about self-care and making sure I listen to my body when it needs to take a rest. There are also times where I find myself “stuck”, because I don’t want to get out of bed most days. I wish I would have listened to my mom as a child when they said that adulthood wasn’t so easy—especially in this weird world we live in now.
Trying to get back on track after being in and out of the studio for the past year and a half has been both euphoric and hard. I have been struggling with my own mental health, and I fall short of thinking I am doing enough for myself. I will get into the habit of coming back to the studio, and then I will end up in a rut again… even if I know that being in the studio gives me my healthy dose of dopamine.
When I have studio days, I usually have to give myself a pep-talk, listen to some uplifting music, and try to get a close family member or friend to cheer me on too (even if I have to ask them to just say “it will be good for you”). The studio always has been one of my favorite places to be, because of the instructors, my peers, and the atmosphere. Recently, I have been finding it easier to get up and go so I can find myself again.
The past two months, my mental health has been the absolute worst. I dropped out of cosmetology school, fought with my sisters, and almost gave up completely. I found myself in this deep, dark depression that seemed impossible to break out of. Fast forward a few weeks, and I found myself in therapy, talking my way through my mental history. I told him that the studio was/is one of my healthy coping skills, but I was not finding joy in the hobbies I once had. I was only attending my regular pole class, and I was lucky to make it to more than 4 classes in a term.
Once I was out of school, I knew I had to make the change to focus on bettering myself (mind, body, and soul). So, when I found my mood starting to elevate, I took that energy and ran with it. I made a goal to be in the studio three days a week for about two hours at a time—adding more days if I felt healthy enough to do so. I am also one of those girls, that will load my plate until the sides are running over. So, taking time off for myself was essential in playing a key role in building personal moral for myself. I am also a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that some inconveniences can be disguised as blessings. It is important that EVERYONE take their mental health seriously, because there are some days where you need to curl up into a ball, while others you have to force yourself to go out and find enjoyment.