Fear
On March 1st, it will be one month since my accident. It hasn’t been an easy road. Many have said, “It’s just a cut? What’s the big deal?” Well here is the big deal! I cut my foot on February 1st to the BONE. I have been experiencing tearing/stabbing pain when I try to point the toes on my right foot. I also have a lot of numbness. Making my toe point look sloppy. This is really hard for me as I love my toe points, I think they are beautiful even for feet. The biggest problem is that I have had little to no workouts in a month.
Finally, on Saturday (2/23), I was brave enough to workout. I was terrified. To be honest I am terrified to come back to the studio. Here is what I found out after my first workout in about a month. Taking a month off to heal is TOUGH. It is/was a struggle to know that I couldn’t/shouldn’t be working out. For anyone who knows me knows that I exercise 4 to 5 times a week. Going from working out so much to zero was a shock! With my first workout, I noticed that I was not able to lift as heavy of weights as I normally do and my stamina had gone out the window. I was/have been beating myself up for not being as strong as I used to be. I have been feeling that my journey is in a constant backward slide.
Thankfully my foot did not hurt for most of the workout. I realized that it is still not quite ready for jumping. Not being able to go to the studio has had a really big impact on my happiness and overall mental health. Aerial Dance is my happy place! Imagine not being able to go to your happy place. It really sucks. I also very nervous to come back to the studio. If I noticed that much of a difference in my strength in Saturday workout, how much of my aerial skills did I lose?
Back on the Horse
I know that in time I will reestablish my skills but dang! I was making so much progress on my handsprings and in other areas in my Extreme Class. Now I feel as if I will be starting all over. I am trying really hard not to think negatively, but I am worried! Getting back in the groove of things will be tough. Starting in March, I will be making my fresh start at the studio. I refuse to let this injury completely stop my progress! My journey will just be a little bit slower now as foot continues to heal.
I am going to take the advice from our Founder Paula! She wrote the blog I am the worst in this room.…. I am going to create a list of things that I need/want to work on. Then I am going to focus on those things. Small steps for a bigger success. The number one thing on my list is to get my butt back into some conditioning classes! I know that by taking those classes with all of our amazing instructors/aerial sisters, my love for working out, self esteem, and self love will grow again! This winter has been a tough one, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel and it is looking bright for me!