Aren’t We Always Trying to Find Ourselves?
There has been on thought on my mind lately. It has been there for quite some time, but being home during this time has really brought if forward. The reoccurring thought on my mind has been, “Who am I now?” It is a funny thing, once you think you have yourself figured out and there you go growing and changing again. To grow and change is wonderful as long as you know how to embrace the new person you have become.
After much reflection, I have found that yet again, I have changed. I still battle so many insecurities. A new problem that I am struggling with is self identity, with this quarantine, I was essentially stripped of all the things that help me establish my identity. I also am eating due to boredom, which is definitely not helping my body image issues. The purpose behind my blog is not to highlight my struggles, but share with you how I embrace change. I have embraced that I am no longer a three hour a night, five days a week aerial student. This is not for the lack of my love for all things aerial, but first and foremost is for my family, I have two wonderful men in my life and somethings are worth adjusting for. It has taken me a very long time to accept my aerial change.
During this time of quarantine it has also renewed my love of taking peaceful walks. That was a part of me that I didn’t know was missing. I am so glad to have found it again. I also have found my love of reading for pleasure again! Quarantine has been a blessing and a curse. It has helped my find parts of me that were hidden by such a busy schedule.
My biggest realization during quarantine has been how much I truly love teaching. That may sound silly, but if you have talked with me, you would know that my class this year has been my most difficult in my 10 years in education. But here I sit! I miss my classroom. I miss my students, even the ones who drove me crazy from day to day. I miss the joy on their faces when they achieve a goal that they have been working so hard for. I can only imagine how our aerial instructors feel. How much joy is missing from their lives.
Thankfully we have so many online classes, but I have found it hard to take as many classes as I would like, because my teaching never seems to never end while working at home. That doesn’t stop our studio from being absolutely amazing! Aerial Dance is doing everything within their power to make us feel connected! For that I will ever be grateful! I am an extrovert by nature and I need people! MY PEOPLE! I miss you all so very much! I am counting the days until we can all be together again!
Until Next Time,
Janelle