Fear

Fear – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
 
Fear is a small four letter word, but it can hold so much power if you let it. Two weeks ago I experienced my first truly fearful moment while poling. I was working on my Remi Layback. My instructor told me climb up the pole, as it is safer to do laybacks away from the floor. You are less likely to hit your head and have time to tuck your chin if you are sliding down the pole towards the floor.
So, I climbed up to about the middle of the pole, used my dainty grip to push away, tucked my right foot into the knee pit of of my left leg, with the pole between my legs, I then proceeded to lock my flexed left foot behind the pole, creating a sold knee pit hold with my right leg. I was locked in place and ready to go. I slowly laid back and voila beautiful Remi Layback.
I just had to do it one more time and I would finally clear this invert! Calm and confident, I climbed my way up the pole to do it again. Followed the same procedures as before, but I forgot one thing……. It was a hot and humid day. I was sweating buckets and didn’t wipe my pole down after working on many different moves, spins, and my first invert. My hooked foot slipped off the pole and the next thing I knew, I was plummeting straight to the floor!!!!!
Thank goodness for basic inverts and instructors to spot you. As I was falling to the floor, my first reaction was to use a serpent to stop myself. I know that my instructor would have kept me safe from getting hurt, but I was relieved that my muscle memory and knowledge of inverts made me able to react so quickly. I came down from the serpent and felt a little shaken, but I was willing to give my Remi Layback another try. I climbed up the pole again for the third time. I got into my Remi Sit, looked down at my instructor and saw that she was just as shaken as I was. We decided that it was better that we not try it again for that day. I felt defeated. I had let my fear get the better of me. As I walked out of class that day I was determined to persevere.
The following week I was not able to attend my regular class. This made me feel even more defeated, like maybe I was trying to avoid class.The next day I made time to attend another class . As I walked in, I took a deep breath getting myself mentally ready to tackle my Remi Layback. Class was going extremely well. I was working on Apprentice Climb, Side Climb to Front Hook to a Descending Back Hook, and Power Hold. Just before it was my turn to invert the instructor said, “Be sure to work on your Remi Sits.” In my mind I was like, “YES! It is meant to be! I am going to nail this move today!”
It was my turn, I was up! Here was my chance to defeat my fear that kept me from clearing this move. I asked if we could work on Remi Laybacks. Of course it was not a problem. I climbed up got ready, hesitated only a moment and BAM! Not only was I successful in preforming the move, but I was not scared! I secure on the pole and wasn’t going any where. My instructor was completely baffled as to how I was able to fall out of this move the week before, when I was so locked in. I wasn’t sure either. I was able to clear my Remi Layback and even tried a Remi Bridge! I am so excited to practice the Remi Bridge again.

I overcame my fear. I know for some that it is not a easy task, but you can not give up. Taking small steps to conquer your fear is an accomplishment and you should be proud of your growth! You are a strong confident woman!

Until next time,
Janelle