Throughout life we as humans, but especially women, seem to default to comparing our progress and ourselves to others. For the longest time, I grappled with asking people about their journeys because I did not want to compare. And even more, I did not want my intrigue and sharing to be thought of as comparison. And I also knew, my questions were never coming from a place of comparison, my questions were coming from wanting to learn more, from wanting to get any possible advice for a move or situation, or sometimes simply because I want to know others’ experiences.
I distinctly remember numerous times since starting my time with Aerial Dance when I either questioned or wanted to question how someone got to where they are. Or how they manage to work and do aerial. Oh, and have children too? Wait, you can do aerial the entire time you are pregnant? But also, what works the best? For all of it? How do you find time to shower? There are so many questions to be asked and even more information to be learned; most of which seems to come from looking at other people- what they do, have done, and continue to do.
After a fair amount of self-reflection, I have come to realize, the comparisons I make are me making them, in my brain. They are me judging my own journey. The comparison does not come from asking others about their journey or from others at all. At least not the comparison I am trying to avoid, and dare I say, am fearful of. This may seem like common sense, but it was eye opening to realize I had control over the framing of my mindset. The same kind of “aha!” moment as when I realized an outside leg hang was called that because you used your outside leg, you all know that kind of moment. I truly believe discussing our journeys through life and aerial and all things, is in fact what encourages and helps me the most. It is where I learn, not only the most about my aerial journey, but also about life.
When I look at comparison as a place of growth, it changes the entirety of my thoughts. It no longer feels heavy or “wrong”. It feels like opportunity, experience, knowledge. It feels like support and validation. It feels light.