Most of you know, I’m a naturally shy person. By the time I get around to asking someone for help, I’m either so frustrated I’m ready to give up, or I’ve screwed something up so bad I have no hope of fixing it by myself. Unfortunately, pole is not exempt from this character flaw.
I have a really bad habit of getting through an entire class, faking it til I make it to the end, and then going home and getting frustrated because I can’t figure it out on my own or nearly injure myself trying. If you’re shy like me or don’t want to be the dumb kid in class or are afraid of holding up a class because you don’t get something, STOP! Stop talking yourself down. Stop holding yourself back. Stop the negative self talk. The instructors at Aerial Dance love you! They love teaching! They love seeing you succeed! If this wasn’t true, they wouldn’t be instructing classes. When you need help or don’t understand or something doesn’t feel quite right Ask For Help!
I was in Pole Flow on Friday. I don’t get to attend Pole Flow classes often so many flowy moves are still new to me. Most of the other girls knew the basic flow moves so the instructor was going at a decent speed through the routine to keep them all engaged. There were three moves right at the beginning the I had never seen before. I was completely lost. The instructor asked several times if anyone had any questions (looking right at me, seeing me struggling) but I kept quiet. I didn’t want to be the dumb kid, I didn’t want to hold everybody up, I’m too shy. Halfway through class I found myself looking at the clock every two minutes. I was frustrated and I just wanted the class to be over. I’m never gonna get this! I’m not graceful! I’m not sexy! I’m just not coordinated! I’m so stupid! Then all of a sudden, it dawned on me. I go to Aerial Dance to enjoy myself, to learn new things, to gain confidence. I’m never going to get that if I’m thinking so poorly and wishing class was over. Why was I stressing myself out so much when this wonderful girl is here to help me. She wants me to enjoy myself. She wants me to find my strength. She wants me to believe I’m beautiful. She wants me to succeed. I stopped what I was doing and asked for help. As soon as I shut off the negative self talk, admitted I couldn’t do it on my own and asked for help, the whole rest of class was twice as easy. No, I didn’t nail every move but I was doing them safely. No, the routine isn’t flowy and graceful yet, but I learned it.
So often we tell ourselves that asking for help makes you look weak, but I found strength in admitting I couldn’t do something on my own. It was a strength to trust that others were there to support me and help me succeed and not judge me or tear me down. That’s part of what makes Aerial Dance so great – the sisterhood that lifts each other up when we reach out a hand in need.