When I became a mom, my identity shifted in ways I never expected. My happiness became my family’s happiness. I  lost my identity by getting into the habit of putting everyone else’s needs first. As my daughter got older and became more independent I started to realize I had no hobbies or things I did for myself. I was struggling to find happiness and even love myself. I needed to make a change.

I knew exercise helped my mental health and originally I was just looking for a new way to work out – but pole dancing turned out to be so much more.  It’s challenging and empowering, and it gives me a space to grow, learn, and connect with myself. It’s not about my role as a mom or a wife; it’s about me and doing something that makes me happy. At first, I struggled with the idea of leaving my family behind for an hour or two each week. I felt selfish for prioritizing my own interests. But what I’m learning is that taking time for myself doesn’t hurt my family, it does the opposite. When I allow myself to prioritize my needs, I come back to my family as a better version of myself. I’m happier, more energized, and more present.

Pole dancing has become a way of taking care of me, physically and mentally. It’s where I feel strong, confident, and connected to myself. It reminds me that I’m more than just a mom or a wife—I’m a person with my own wants and needs  and a body that is capable of amazing things. Perhaps the most beautiful thing about this journey is how it’s shaping the way I see myself—and how that impacts my daughter. As I learn to love and value myself, I hope she sees that. I hope she grows up knowing it’s okay to take care of herself and prioritize her happiness. I want her to see a mom who is happy and fulfilled, not one who is burnt out and running on empty. By taking time for myself, I’m teaching her that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Doing something for myself, like pole dancing, has shown me that my happiness doesn’t come at the expense of my family. In fact, it’s one of the best gifts I can give them. When I take care of myself, I’m better equipped to take care of them.